11 things self-centered people almost always do before leaving the house

We all have that one friend. You know the one: you’re sitting in the car, engine idling, staring at the clock while they are ostensibly “just grabbing their keys.” Ten minutes pass. Then twenty. When they finally emerge, they look impeccable, unbothered, and entirely unapologetic.

While we might chalk this up to poor time management, psychology suggests something deeper is often at play. Self-centeredness isn’t just about being “selfish”; it’s a pervasive personality trait characterized by low empathy, high entitlement, and a need for external validation. According to discussions in Psychology Today, self‑centered or narcissistic behavior is often linked to unstable self‑esteem and a strong need for external validation, rather than secure, internally grounded self‑worth.

It turns out, the morning routine of a highly self-centered person is a minefield of psychological signals. Here are 11 things self-centered people almost always do before they walk out the door.

The “Main Character” Mirror Stare

We all check our reflection before leaving, but for self-centered individuals, this isn’t just a glance—it’s a session. Research on body dysmorphic disorder shows that excessive mirror gazing or checking is a common behavior linked to heightened anxiety and preoccupation with perceived flaws, rather than to genuine self‑esteem.

A study cited by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders notes that compulsive mirror checking can last from 10 minutes to several hours. For the self-centered, this isn’t about hygiene; it’s about ensuring their “costume” is perfect for their audience.

The “Fit Check” Selfie Session

If they look good, the internet needs to know—now. It doesn’t matter if you are waiting downstairs; the priority is digital validation.

A study published in Personality and Individual Differences found a direct link between narcissism and the frequency of selfie-posting. Men, in particular, who scored higher on narcissism scales were more likely to post “own selfies” for self-promotion. If they are snapping photos while you are waiting, they are prioritizing their online image over your real-time reality.

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Strategic Lateness (Ignoring the Clock)

Ever notice they are never late for their flight, but always late for your dinner reservation? This is often a power move.

Psychologists classify “entitlement” as a core component of narcissism in the DSM-5. The belief is that their time is inherently more valuable than yours. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and expert on narcissism, often notes that chronic lateness in these personalities is a way of signaling, “The party doesn’t start until I arrive.”

Leaving a Hurricane Behind

They look like a million bucks, but their bedroom looks like a crime scene. Wet towels on the floor, toothpaste in the sink, drawers flung open.

This behavior is rooted in a deficit of empathy. They are so hyper-focused on their own immediate needs (getting ready) that they literally cannot conceptualize the experience of the person who has to clean up after them. The mess isn’t malicious; it’s just that you (the cleaner) don’t exist in their mental map of the morning.

The “What About Me?” Outfit Crisis

This isn’t just indecision; it’s a meltdown. If they don’t feel like the “winner” of the room, they can’t leave the house.

Research on “perfectionistic self-presentation” suggests that people with high narcissistic traits experience intense distress if they feel they appear “flawed” or “ordinary.” This often leads to multiple outfit changes that disregard everyone else’s schedule.

Checking the “Likes” Forecast

Before the key hits the ignition, they are checking the engagement on the post they made 10 minutes ago.

Social media platforms trigger the same dopamine pathways as gambling, according to Addiction Center. For self-centered individuals who rely on external regulation of self-esteem, leaving the house with “low likes” can genuinely sour their mood. They aren’t just checking a phone; they are checking their “social stock price.”

The “Invisible Audience” Rehearsal

You might catch them practicing a facial expression or a witty comeback in the hallway mirror.

Sociologist Charles Cooley described the “Looking-Glass Self,” where we shape ourselves based on how we think others see us. Self-centered people take this to an extreme, often engaging in “imaginary audience” behavior—acting as if they are constantly being watched and critiqued, even when alone.

Prioritizing the “Me” Bag Over the “We” Items

They remember their lip gloss, their charger, and their sunglasses. But the tickets for the show? The snacks for the road trip? The gift for the host? That was your job.

This is a classic sign of cognitive egocentrism. They have excellent memory for things that directly affect their comfort, but a “blind spot” for communal responsibilities.

The “Doorway Pause” (Checking Reflection in Anything)

It’s not just mirrors. It’s the microwave door, the car window, your sunglasses.

In studies regarding self-objectification, individuals who view themselves as objects to be looked at will constantly monitor their appearance to ensure “value.” It’s an exhausting, high-maintenance mental state that makes it hard for them to be present in the moment.

Interrupting Your Routine

“Can you zip this?” “Does this look okay?” “Where are my keys?”

They treat those around them as “extensions” of themselves rather than autonomous people. In psychology, this is known as a lack of boundaries. They view your time and energy as resources available for their consumption to facilitate their exit.

The “Main Character” Exit Statement

They rarely just say, “Ready to go?” It’s usually a statement about their state: “Okay, I look tired, but let’s go,” or “Finally, I’m ready.”

Every interaction must frame them as the protagonist. It sets the tone that the outing is about their experience, and you are just along for the ride.

Key Takeaways

Self-centered people turn leaving the house into a chaotic ritual of control and vanity. Be it staring in the mirror, manufacturing a fashion crisis, or making you wait, the goal is to ensure they are the focus of attention.

If you recognize these traits in a friend or partner, boundaries are your best friend. Tell them you’re leaving at 7:00 PM sharp—with or without them. The first time you actually drive away, they might be shocked, but they’ll learn that your time is just as valuable as their reflection.

Disclosure line: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.

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