12 Things Not to Say to People With Autism

Let’s be honest, putting your foot in your mouth is practically a human pastime, but it stings more when directed at the neurodivergent community. We have all been there. You try to pay a compliment or make small talk, and suddenly the air leaves the room. Navigating conversations about autism requires more than just good intentions; it requires a shift in perspective.

With the CDC reporting that 1 in 36 children in the U.S. receives an autism diagnosis, you likely know someone on the spectrum, even if you do not realize it. That number represents a significant increase from previous decades, meaning our social etiquette needs a serious update. We need to move past the stereotypes and understand the reality of neurodiversity. Let’s walk through the phrases you should permanently retire from your vocabulary.

“Everyone is a little autistic.”

This is one of the most invalidating things you can say to an autistic person. It dismisses the real challenges and barriers that autistic people face. Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition that significantly affects social communication, sensory processing, and daily functioning for about 1–2% of the population worldwide.

Treating it as a personality quirk or a minor issue erases the condition’s true impact and undermines the person’s lived experience.

“You don’t look autistic.”

This comment suggests that autism can be recognized by physical appearance, reinforcing the damaging idea that there is a “typical” look for an autistic person. It questions the legitimacy of a person’s diagnosis, especially when their traits aren’t immediately apparent.

This leads to increased pressure to mask behaviors, contributing to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. People on the spectrum should not have to prove their identity or diagnosis based on appearance.

“We all have social issues; I must be autistic too.”

While many people experience social awkwardness, equating it with autism trivializes the lifelong challenges autistic individuals face. Autistic social issues extend beyond awkwardness; they impact multiple aspects of their lives, from communication to sensory regulation, and are often tied to anxiety and depression.

This kind of remark diminishes their reality, making them feel dismissed and misunderstood.

“You’re high-functioning / low-functioning.”

The use of functioning labels like “high-functioning” or “low-functioning” is discouraged because it reduces complex experiences to simplistic categories. This can either hide the support needs of those labeled as “high-functioning” or devalue those labeled as “low-functioning.”

These labels misrepresent the diverse and often fluctuating needs of autistic people, which can lead to misunderstandings about what they are capable of. Instead, focus on individual needs and strengths, and avoid simplifying someone’s experiences into these broad terms.

“What’s your special talent?” or “Are you a genius?”

The myth of the autistic savant has been perpetuated by media portrayals, leading people to expect extraordinary skills from all autistic individuals. While some may have exceptional talents, reducing someone to a stereotype, either as a “genius” or a “burden,” ignores their humanity and everyday experiences.

Autistic people are first and foremost individuals with diverse strengths and interests, not defined by one trait or skill.

“Autism is a tragedy/burden.”

Describing autism as a tragedy or burden positions autistic people as problems to be fixed, rather than individuals facing societal barriers. This framing contributes to shame and stigma, which are linked to lower self-esteem and poor mental health.

Autism should be viewed as a difference, not something inherently negative. Emphasizing acceptance over pity helps autistic people feel valued for who they are.

“You should try harder to be normal.”

Telling someone to “act normal” dismisses their natural way of communicating and being. Autistic people often rely on stimming or avoiding overwhelming environments to self-regulate.

Pressuring someone to conform to arbitrary norms can lead to burnout, anxiety, and feelings of invalidity. Instead of focusing on “normalcy,” encourage acceptance and understanding of diverse ways of being.

“You’re overreacting / too sensitive.”

Autistic individuals often process sensory and emotional stimuli more intensely than others. What may seem like an overreaction is often a genuine, overwhelming response to external stimuli, like loud noises or social stress.

Invalidating these responses contributes to self-doubt and makes people feel like their boundaries don’t matter. Instead of dismissing reactions, offer support and empathy to help them manage sensory overload.

“You must be cured/grow out of it someday.”

Autism is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition, not something to be “cured” or “grown out of.” Focusing on a cure narrative fosters unrealistic expectations and increases shame for those who do not conform to these ideals. Instead, focus on acceptance and accommodations that help autistic individuals thrive in their own way.

“Are you sure? You seem too normal to be autistic.”

This comment casts doubt on someone’s diagnosis based on stereotypes about what autism “looks” like. Many autistic people, particularly women and marginalized groups, face skepticism about their diagnosis, which can fuel self-doubt and discourage them from seeking accommodations.

It’s crucial to believe and validate people’s self-identifications without requiring them to meet a narrow expectation of how autism should manifest.

“ Person with autism” sounds nicer than “autistic.”

While some people prefer person-first language, many autistic adults advocate for identity-first language because it reflects how they experience their identity. For example, calling someone an autistic person emphasizes that autism is a part of who they are, not something separate from them. It’s always important to ask individuals how they prefer to be referred to and to respect their language preferences.

Talking about autism as if the autistic person isn’t there

Discussing a person’s traits or challenges in front of them as though they cannot understand is dehumanizing. This type of language fosters social withdrawal and erodes trust between the autistic person and the people around them. Always engage directly with the individual, respecting their presence and voice in conversations about them.

Disclaimer- This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.

Disclosure: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.

20 Odd American Traditions That Confuse the Rest of the World

20 Odd American Traditions That Confuse the Rest of the World

It’s no surprise that cultures worldwide have their own unique customs and traditions, but some of America’s most beloved habits can seem downright strange to outsiders.

Many American traditions may seem odd or even bizarre to people from other countries. Here are twenty of the strangest American traditions that confuse the rest of the world.

20 of the Worst American Tourist Attractions, Ranked in Order

20 of the Worst American Tourist Attractions, Ranked in Order

If you’ve found yourself here, it’s likely because you’re on a noble quest for the worst of the worst—the crème de la crème of the most underwhelming and downright disappointing tourist traps America offers. Maybe you’re looking to avoid common pitfalls, or perhaps just a connoisseur of the hilariously bad.

Whatever the reason, here is a list that’s sure to entertain, if not educate. Hold onto the hats and explore the ranking, in sequential order, of the 20 worst American tourist attractions.