13 types of men who struggle to be good partners

New research warns that staying with the wrong kind of partner can cost women not just happiness, but their long-term mental health.

Some men step into relationships with good intentions but lack the maturity or emotional skills to be solid partners. Women often end up carrying more of the weight, excusing behavior, or hoping love will change things. But not every relationship can be fixed. The key is knowing the difference between flaws you can live with and toxic habits that drain you. If he doesnโ€™t admit thereโ€™s a problem, chances are nothing will improve.

Research shows how harmful these patterns can be. The American Psychological Association also linked poor relationship quality to higher risks of anxiety and depression in women. This isnโ€™t just about compatibility; itโ€™s about protecting your mental health. Walking away may feel hard, but staying in a draining relationship can cost you far more over time.

The addict

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Addiction doesnโ€™t stay contained to one person; it seeps into every part of the relationship. Whether itโ€™s alcohol, drugs, gambling, or something else, his struggle creates cycles of instability, broken trust, and disappointment. Without active recovery, addiction always takes priority over love. Research shows that substance abuse is one of the top contributors to divorce in the U.S.

The emotionally unavailable man

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He doesnโ€™t share whatโ€™s on his mind, avoids deep talks, and deflects whenever you bring up feelings. While independence has its place, a wall this high blocks intimacy. Over time, women with emotionally unavailable partners often describe the relationship as lonely. According to Douglas Counseling, one of the most common complaints from women in therapy is feeling like theyโ€™re living with a roommate, not a partner, because emotional closeness never develops.

The perpetual cheat

Cheating man.
Cheating man. Image credit fizkes via Shutterstock.

Infidelity destroys trust, and for some men, it becomes a repeated pattern. Even after being caught, they may promise change without following through. This cycle leaves women questioning their worth and stability. Research shows that 20% of men admit to cheating during a committed relationship, and those who do it multiple times rarely stop without serious intervention. For women, staying often means living with constant doubt and a fragile sense of security.

The selfish man

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Relationships require compromise, but with him, everything tilts in his favor. His needs, desires, and schedule take priority, while yours often feel secondary. At first, you may excuse it as confidence, but over time, it chips away at your sense of equality. A study by the National Institute of Health found that perceived unfairness in household or emotional contributions is a top predictor of relationship dissatisfaction among women.

The controlling man

Couple talking.
fizkes via Shutterstock.

What begins as โ€œprotectivenessโ€ quickly turns into control. He criticizes your clothes, dictates who you see, or questions your choices. It may feel subtle in the early stages, but it escalates with time. Safe Horizon identifies controlling behavior as one of the earliest markers of emotional abuse. Even if he never raises his voice or hand, control suffocates freedom, making women feel smaller with each passing day.

The career-obsessed man

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Ambition can be attractive, but not if it consumes him. If work always comes first, youโ€™re left competing with his laptop and deadlines for attention. Women in relationships with career-absorbed partners will likely experience chronic dissatisfaction, with a lack of quality time as the biggest issue. Without balance, you feel like a footnote in his life, rather than a partner.

The man-child

young man father with child playing soccer.
Image credit Ground Picture via Shutterstock.

He may be fun and spontaneous, but if he canโ€™t manage adult responsibilities, the burden shifts to you. Paying bills, keeping appointments, or even planning basic life decisions falls on your shoulders. What feels playful in the beginning quickly turns exhausting. Many women in this situation report feeling more like a caretaker than a partner, which drains respect and attraction over time.

The avoidant man

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Conflict is part of any relationship, but he disappears or shuts down at the first sign of tension. This leaves you carrying the emotional labor while he escapes accountability. According to Frontiers Research, avoidant attachment styles are strongly linked to lower relationship satisfaction. Without the ability to work through challenges, problems only pile higher, creating distance and resentment.

The insecure and jealous man

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At first, his jealousy may feel flattering, but soon it becomes suffocating. He questions your friendships, checks your phone, or constantly doubts your loyalty. His insecurity isnโ€™t about love; itโ€™s about control, and it creates an atmosphere of tension where trust should be.

The financially reckless man

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Love doesnโ€™t erase money troubles. If he spends impulsively, avoids saving, or drags you into debt, the stress takes a toll. A survey by Ramsey Solutions found that money is the number one cause of marital fights, and divorced couples cited finances as a key reason for splitting. Tying yourself to someone who is financially careless can leave you struggling long after the relationship ends.

The bitter ex

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If heโ€™s still hung up on a past partner, youโ€™ll always feel like youโ€™re competing with a ghost. Constant comparisons or unresolved heartbreak prevent him from fully committing to you. Unresolved attachment to ex-partners is one of the biggest predictors of emotional distance in new relationships. Until he heals, thereโ€™s no room for growth between you.

The arrogant know-it-all

selfish. pride.
MDV Edwards via Shutterstock.

He always has to be right. Conversations with him turn into debates, and your opinions rarely hold weight. This dynamic slowly chips away at respect, leaving you feeling unheard or undervalued. Over time, women in relationships with dismissive partners often report lower self-esteem and less confidence in their own judgment.

The unreliable ghoster

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Even in a committed relationship, he disappears, emotionally or physically. He cancels plans at the last minute, zones out in conversations, or pulls away without explanation. His inconsistency leaves you chasing stability that never comes. Without reliability, you canโ€™t build trust, and without trust, no relationship has a solid foundation.

15 Things Women Only Do With the Men They Love

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The 15 Things Women Only Do With the Men They Love

Love is a complex, beautiful emotion that inspires profound behaviors. We express our love in various ways, some universal, while others are unique to each individual. Among these expressions, there are specific actions women often reserve for the men they deeply love.

This piece explores 15 unique gestures women make when theyโ€™re in love. From tiny, almost invisible actions to grand declarations, each tells a story of deep affection and unwavering commitment.

Author

  • Yvonne Gabriel

    Yvonne is a content writer whose focus is creating engaging, meaningful pieces that inform, and inspire. Her goal is to contribute to the society by reviving interest in reading through accessible and thoughtful content.

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