Why so many Americans feel they can’t afford to have children

In one of the wealthiest countries in the world, having a baby can still push a family into a financial crisis.

When my daughter had her baby, she and her husband thought they had prepared. They saved for months to cover her unpaid maternity leave, watched every expense, and tried to build as much of a financial cushion as they could. She even kept working after her water broke because, quite simply, they needed the money.

As her mother, it was difficult to watch. She had worked hard to build a career she loved, and becoming a mother was something she deeply wanted. But I don’t think any of us were prepared for just how quickly the expenses would pile up once the baby arrived—or how much financial pressure could accompany what should have been such a joyful time.

And my daughter’s experience is hardly unusual.

For American parents, the financial pressure can begin before a child is even born. Pregnancy and delivery come with medical bills. Taking time to recover and care for a newborn can mean weeks without a paycheck. Then come diapers, formula or breastfeeding supplies, healthcare, clothing—and, for working parents, the enormous expense of childcare.

Having a child is a personal decision. But when people who want children feel they cannot afford to have them—or have them and discover that staying financially afloat requires extraordinary sacrifices—it raises a much larger question:

Why is having a child still so financially punishing in America?

Having a baby can cost thousands—even with insurance

Health insurance doesn’t necessarily protect families from a substantial childbirth bill.

A 2025 analysis from KFF looked at people covered by employer-sponsored health insurance and found that pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum care generated an average of $20,416 in total healthcare spending. Women paid an average of $2,743 out of pocket.

And that’s before much of the baby’s healthcare is counted. KFF found that newborns had another $5,820 in average healthcare spending during their first months, including $475 paid out of pocket.

See KFF’s analysis of pregnancy and childbirth costs

For families with high-deductible health plans, complications, neonatal intensive care, or other medical needs, the financial exposure can be considerably greater.

That means many parents begin family life not with a clean financial slate, but with medical bills arriving while their household income may simultaneously be falling.

Then your paycheck may disappear

This is one of the strangest contradictions in American family policy.

Having a baby temporarily makes it harder—or medically impossible—to work. Yet federal law still does not guarantee most private-sector workers paid parental leave.

The federal Family and Medical Leave Act can provide eligible workers with up to 12 weeks of job-protected leave following the birth of a child. But FMLA leave does not have to be paid. Eligibility is also limited by requirements involving the employer’s size, how long the employee has worked there, hours worked, and work location.

Learn about parental leave protections under the FMLA

Some employers offer paid parental leave, and some states have created their own paid family and medical leave programs. But what a new parent receives can still depend enormously on where she lives and who employs her.

That leaves some families doing exactly what we did: saving in advance to finance their own maternity leave.

Think about how peculiar that is.

You’re preparing for one of the most physically demanding experiences of your life while simultaneously trying to accumulate enough money to purchase several weeks in which you won’t be required to work.

Returning to work introduces another enormous bill

Then comes childcare.

Child Care Aware of America’s latest national analysis put the average annual price of childcare at $13,184 in 2025. For a married couple with children, that represented about 10% of median household income. For a single parent, it consumed roughly one-third of median income.

Explore Child Care Aware’s 2025 childcare cost data

And those are national averages. Prices vary enormously depending on the child’s age, type of care, and location.

Infant care is particularly labor-intensive because babies require much lower caregiver-to-child ratios than older children.

Parents therefore encounter an absurd financial equation:

Go back to work so you can afford to live—but spend an enormous portion of what you earn on the childcare that allows you to go back to work.

For some families, the numbers simply don’t work.

Childcare isn’t only expensive. It can be hard to find.

Paying for care assumes you can actually get a spot.

Child Care Aware reported that the number of licensed childcare centers declined by about 1% between 2024 and 2025, while family childcare homes increased only modestly. The organization concluded that supply still wasn’t keeping up with what American families need.

That shortage has consequences beyond inconvenience.

A parent may delay returning to work, reduce her hours, turn down a promotion, change jobs, rely on grandparents, or leave the workforce entirely because appropriate childcare isn’t available.

And while fathers increasingly participate in caregiving, women still frequently absorb more of these career disruptions.

The cost of having children therefore isn’t limited to the bills parents pay.

It also includes income they never earn.

The real price can be years of lost earnings

Imagine that childcare for two young children costs nearly as much as one parent’s take-home pay.

It can seem financially rational for that parent to stay home.

But comparing childcare expenses only with today’s paycheck misses the long-term cost.

Leaving work can mean lost raises, promotions, retirement contributions, Social Security earnings, professional experience, and career momentum. Returning several years later may mean reentering at a lower salary—or discovering that your previous career path is no longer available.

Reducing work rather than leaving entirely can carry similar long-term consequences.

So when we talk about the “cost of childcare,” we shouldn’t look only at what a daycare center charges.

We also need to count what parents sacrifice when they cannot obtain or afford it.

The childcare workers aren’t necessarily getting rich, either

This is one of the most frustrating parts of the childcare crisis.

Parents can be paying staggering amounts for care while childcare providers themselves operate on narrow margins and workers earn relatively modest wages.

Caring safely for infants and toddlers requires people. A childcare center cannot dramatically increase productivity by having one employee simultaneously supervise 30 babies.

There are buildings to maintain, insurance premiums, food, supplies, licensing requirements, administrative expenses, utilities, and wages to pay—all while maintaining legally required staffing ratios.

That creates a structural problem: high-quality childcare is inherently expensive to provide, yet families have limited ability to pay much more for it.

Simply telling childcare centers to lower their prices doesn’t solve that equation.

Parenthood comes with hundreds of smaller expenses, too

The enormous costs get the attention, but parents also know about the relentless smaller ones.

Diapers. Wipes. Car seats. Strollers. Cribs. Bottles. Clothing that fits for approximately seventeen minutes. Doctor copays. Medicine. Babyproofing. Food. School supplies. Activities. Birthday parties.

One expense disappears and another takes its place.

Families can certainly economize. Babies don’t require designer nurseries, elaborate toys, or closets full of new clothes. Used baby equipment and hand-me-downs can save significant money—although safety standards matter for items such as car seats and cribs.

But frugality can only accomplish so much.

You can’t coupon your way out of a $15,000 childcare bill.

The burden isn’t distributed equally

A high-income household may find childcare painful but manageable.

For a lower-income family, a similar expense can be destabilizing.

Single parents face an even tougher calculation because there may be only one income supporting the household. Child Care Aware’s finding that average childcare costs equal roughly one-third of median single-parent income illustrates just how punishing the numbers can become.

Parents working hourly jobs can face another disadvantage.

A salaried professional may have flexibility to work from home when a child is sick. An hourly worker who stays home may lose that day’s wages—or potentially jeopardize her job.

Lower-wage workers also have less access to many forms of paid leave. Bureau of Labor Statistics data show significant disparities in access to paid benefits based on wages.

The families least able to absorb lost income are often the ones for whom losing a day’s pay matters most.

Grandparents have quietly become part of America’s childcare infrastructure

For families fortunate enough to have willing grandparents nearby, they can completely change the financial equation.

A grandmother providing two days of childcare every week may save a family thousands of dollars annually.

But “free” family childcare isn’t actually costless.

Grandparents may reduce their own working hours, rearrange retirement, drive substantial distances, or take on physically demanding caregiving responsibilities. Some love doing it. Others feel they have little choice because their adult children simply cannot afford another option.

And many families don’t have grandparents who are geographically close, healthy enough, retired, or available.

A childcare system that works beautifully if Grandma can cover Tuesdays and Thursdays isn’t really a childcare system.

READ: Why thousands of grandparents are starting over as full-time parents

Parents are being asked to solve a structural problem individually

This is where much of the conversation about the cost of children goes wrong.

Parents are told to budget better.

Start a 529.

Buy secondhand.

Meal-plan.

Build an emergency fund.

Compare daycare centers.

All of that can be useful.

But personal financial discipline doesn’t change the underlying arithmetic of childbirth, unpaid leave, childcare, healthcare, and housing.

A family can do everything “right” and still discover that the numbers barely work.

What would actually make having children more affordable?

There isn’t one solution because there isn’t one cost.

Paid family leave could reduce the income shock surrounding childbirth and allow parents time to recover and bond with newborns without financing the leave entirely themselves.

Greater childcare subsidies or public investment could help bridge the gap between what quality childcare costs to provide and what ordinary families can afford.

Policies involving the Child Tax Credit and other tax benefits can put money directly back into household budgets.

Healthcare costs matter, too. Families shouldn’t need to wonder whether an uncomplicated birth will leave them with thousands of dollars in medical bills.

Employers can help through paid parental leave, flexible scheduling, predictable hours, remote-work options where practical, dependent-care benefits, and childcare assistance.

And increasing the supply of childcare matters just as much as making it affordable. A subsidy doesn’t help much if there isn’t an available infant spot anywhere near your home or workplace.

What parents can do now

None of that solves the immediate problem for someone expecting a baby next year.

Prospective parents can still reduce some of the financial uncertainty by investigating costs before the baby arrives.

Find out exactly what parental leave each parent’s employer provides and whether your state offers additional paid-leave benefits. Review your health insurance’s deductible, coinsurance, out-of-pocket maximum, and rules for adding a newborn to the plan.

Start researching childcare far earlier than seems reasonable. In areas with limited infant care, waiting lists can begin months before a child is born.

Compare dependent-care benefits through work, investigate available tax credits, and consider whether family members realistically can—and want to—help.

Most importantly, calculate the cost of different childcare and work arrangements based on more than one year’s take-home pay. Leaving the workforce may make perfect sense for your family, but it should be a decision made with an understanding of the potential longer-term career and retirement consequences.

Having children shouldn’t be a luxury purchase

Nobody is entitled to a financially effortless experience of parenthood. Children cost money, and deciding to have one carries responsibilities that last far beyond infancy.

But there is a difference between saying parents should financially prepare for children and constructing a society in which pregnancy, childbirth, recovery, childcare, and continued employment combine into an obstacle course.

People shouldn’t have to work while they’re in labor because they need one more day’s pay.

They shouldn’t have to choose between recovering from childbirth and making rent.

And parents shouldn’t have to conclude that the only financially rational response to a childcare bill is for one of them to abandon a career they spent years building.

The question isn’t whether parents should contribute to the cost of raising their own children. Of course they should.

The question is how much financial instability we think should accompany the decision to create and raise the next generation.

Key takeaway

Having a child has always required sacrifice. But today’s families can face thousands of dollars in medical expenses, unpaid parental leave, childcare averaging more than $13,000 annually, and long-term career costs when affordable care isn’t available.

Those aren’t problems individual parents can budget their way out of entirely.

Having a baby can change your life. It shouldn’t have to financially derail it.

Reader question

What expense surprised you most after having a child—and what do you wish you’d known beforehand?