12 Things Women Love to Hear on a First Date
Let’s be real: first dates can feel like a high-stakes job interview.
We all know first impressions form in seconds. But what really makes a difference?
It’s not about memorizing lines. A study from ZipDo shows that around 79% of men and 74% of women say good conversation is the most important part of a successful first date—more than looks.
The big secret? It’s less about what you say and more about how you make her feel. Here’s a breakdown of what she actually wants to hear.
“You look amazing.” (But say it right)
Okay, let’s start with the obvious. A Match.com poll found 90% of singles are impressed when a date compliments their appearance.
But how you say it matters. Instead of a generic “You’re hot,” try something specific that she chose. Dating coaches overwhelmingly suggest complimenting her “style,” “dress,” or “energy.”
“That color is fantastic on you,” or “You have a great sense of style,” shows you noticed the effort.
“That’s so interesting, tell me more.”
This is the big one. Showing you’re genuinely listening is pure gold. When she’s talking, don’t just wait for your turn. Ask follow-up questions.
A Match survey revealed 65% of singles are impressed by a date who “asks a lot of questions.” It shows you’re engaged and curious about her as a person, not just an idea.
“What are you passionate about?”
You want to get past the boring “what do you do?” small talk. A Zipdo research shows 75% of first-date conversations naturally revolve around hobbies and interests.
Asking what she loves to do—what gets her excited on a Saturday morning—opens the door for a much more genuine connection.
“You have a great laugh.” (Or “You’re really funny!”)
This is a double-win. First, you’re complimenting her, which is great. Second, you’re showing that you two are sharing a good time.
A Zipdo research found 65% of people think humor is the most attractive trait on a first date. If you’re laughing together, you’re doing something right.
“I really value that in someone.”
Finding common ground is key. BetterUp states that sharing similar core values can indicate a potential relationship’s success.
If she mentions she’s close with her family, or volunteers, or values honesty, and you feel the same? Say so. “That’s important to me, too,” builds a powerful, non-physical connection.
“What’s your dream travel spot?”
Want a pro tip? Talk about travel, not movies. A classic study by researcher Richard Wiseman found that 18% of couples who discussed travel wanted a second date. Only 9% of couples who talked about movies wanted to meet again.
Talking about future dreams and destinations is exciting and positive.
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“You’re really easy to talk to.”
This is maybe the best compliment you can give. It says, “I’m comfortable with you,” “You’re engaging,” and “This connection is working.”
Relationship expert Julianne Cantarella says the goal is to “make her feel important.” This phrase does exactly that by showing her she’s great company.
“I really love your take on that.”
Even if you don’t 100% agree on something, you can show respect.
Saying you respect her opinion or find her perspective interesting shows you’re mature and open-minded. That’s incredibly attractive.
“What’s something you’re really looking forward to?”
This is another great question that experts love.
It gets you both talking about positive, exciting things in your lives. It could be a work project, a vacation, or even just a concert next week. It’s a great way to understand what motivates her and makes her happy.
“This has been a great time.”
Don’t be coy. Don’t play games. Honesty and clarity are refreshing. If you’re enjoying yourself, just say it. It takes the pressure off and lets her know the feeling is (hopefully) mutual. It’s a simple confidence-booster.
“No, really—I’ve got this.”
Let’s talk about the check. This is still a “thing.” While trends are changing, eHarmony reports that who pays for the first date depends on factors such as who initiated the date and how well it went.
It’s not about money; it’s about showing generosity and a willingness to invest. It’s a gesture, and gestures matter.
“I’d love to do this again.”
This is the ultimate thing she wants to hear (if she’s feeling it, too). It’s clear, it’s confident, and it ends the night on a high note.
It removes all the “Does he like me?” guesswork. If you want to see her again, just say so. A simple “I had a great time, I’d love to see you again soon” is perfect.
Conclusion
You don’t need magic lines.
The best first dates happen when you are genuine, show real curiosity, and actually listen. Focus on making her feel heard, respected, and interesting. The rest will follow.
Disclosure line: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.
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