17 things guys do that totally turn women off

Attraction isn’t just about chemistry—it’s also about the everyday behaviors that shape how we connect.

Navigating the dating world often means figuring out which habits attract potential partners and which ones send them running for the exit. While everyone has different preferences, research from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) shows that relationship satisfaction is closely linked to respectful communication, emotional support, and mutual understanding. Habits that undermine these qualities—like poor listening or lack of empathy—can be major turn-offs and even negatively impact long-term relationship outcomes.

Understanding these subtle cues can make a huge difference in how you connect with others. It’s about being mindful of how your actions are perceived. From the way you communicate to your personal habits, these elements build a picture of who you are. Here is a look at some common behaviors that guys exhibit, often without realizing it, that can be significant turn-offs for women.

Poor Hygiene Habits

It might seem obvious, but basic hygiene is a foundation of attraction. Things like bad breath, body odor, or unkempt nails can be immediate red flags. These aren’t just about appearance; they signal a lack of self-care and respect for oneself and others. Good hygiene shows that you pay attention to the details and care about the impression you make.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), regular handwashing is a critical practice for preventing the spread of germs. This principle of cleanliness extends to overall personal grooming. When hygiene is neglected, it can suggest a general carelessness that may translate to other areas of life and relationships, making it a powerful and immediate turn-off.

Pro Tip: Create a simple daily grooming routine. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Devoting just a few minutes to showering, brushing your teeth, and ensuring your clothes are clean can make a world of difference.

Constant Phone Checking

Being glued to your phone while you’re with someone sends a clear message: whatever is on that screen is more important than the person in front of you. This behavior, often called “phubbing” (phone snubbing), can make a woman feel ignored, unimportant, and disrespected. It disrupts the flow of conversation and prevents a genuine connection from forming.

A study published in the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that phubbing negatively impacts relationship satisfaction, partly because it creates a sense of social exclusion. When you’re constantly distracted, you’re not truly present. This lack of engagement can be a major turn-off, suggesting you are not invested in the interaction.

Tip: When you’re on a date or spending quality time with someone, put your phone on silent and keep it out of sight. Being fully present shows you value her time and company.

Being a Poor Listener

Communication is a two-way street, but some guys treat it like a monologue. Interrupting, not making eye contact, or changing the subject to be about themselves are all signs of a poor listener. It makes a woman feel that her thoughts, feelings, and experiences are not valued. Good listening is an active skill that shows you are engaged and that you care.

Active listening involves more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the meaning and emotion behind them. Research from the National Institutes of Health(NIH) emphasizes that responsive listening, where a partner shows understanding and care, is strongly linked to feelings of being valued and promotes relationship well-being. Failing to listen effectively can make someone feel completely unheard.

Unique Research Insight: Harvard Health Publishing points out that mindful listening—paying full attention without judgment—can reduce stress for both the speaker and the listener. By being a better listener, you not only make her feel better but also improve your own well-being.

Arrogance and Cockiness

Confidence is attractive, but arrogance is a definite turn-off. There’s a fine line between self-assurance and an inflated ego. Constantly bragging about your accomplishments, possessions, or how great you are can come across as insecure and self-centered. It suggests you need external validation and are more interested in impressing than connecting.

A person who displays genuine confidence doesn’t need to announce it constantly. Their actions and calm demeanor speak for themselves. Arrogance, on the other hand, often involves putting others down to elevate oneself, which is a significant character flaw. It creates a competitive dynamic rather than a cooperative one, which is poison for any potential relationship.

Tip: Instead of telling her how great you are, show her through your actions. Be humble, be kind, and be genuinely interested in her life and accomplishments.

Being Rude to Service Staff

How a person treats servers, baristas, or retail workers is a huge indicator of their true character. Being condescending, impatient, or just plain rude to service staff is a massive red flag for many women. It suggests a sense of entitlement and a lack of empathy and respect for others who are just doing their job.

This behavior shows a side of you that might not be immediately apparent in one-on-one interactions. It reveals how you handle minor frustrations and if you view certain people as beneath you. Kindness and respect should be extended to everyone, not just the person you are trying to impress. A lack of it is a significant turn-off.

Pro Tip: Make a point to be polite and patient with everyone you interact with. A simple “please” and “thank you” go a long way in showing you are a respectful and considerate person.

Lack of Ambition or Passion

Lacking goals, passions, or interests can be deeply unappealing. It’s not about how much money you make or what your job title is. It’s about having something that drives you, something you’re excited about. A lack of ambition can signal passivity and a lack of direction in life, which is not an inspiring trait in a partner.

A person who is passionate about something—be it a hobby, a career, or a cause—is generally more interesting and engaging. That passion is contagious and shows a zest for life. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has published research indicating that having a sense of purpose is linked to better psychological well-being. A lack of it can suggest an unmotivated and uninspired existence.

Tip: Find something you’re genuinely interested in and pursue it. It could be learning a new skill, volunteering, or getting into a fitness routine. Having something you’re working towards makes you a more dynamic individual.

Being Overly Possessive or Jealous

A little jealousy can be normal, but when it becomes possessive or controlling, it’s a huge turn-off and a serious red flag. Constant questioning about who she’s with, checking her phone, or trying to limit her social interactions are all signs of deep-seated insecurity and a lack of trust. This behavior is suffocating and unhealthy.

Healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual respect for each other’s independence. Possessiveness undermines this foundation. The CDC identifies controlling behaviors as a form of intimate partner violence, highlighting its destructive nature. It doesn’t show you care; it shows you want to control, which is a scary and deeply unattractive trait.

Unique Research Insight: Research from the National Institutes of Health(NIH) shows a strong correlation between jealousy and lower relationship satisfaction. Acts of jealousy, even seemingly small ones, can erode trust and intimacy over time, making it a slow poison for any connection.

Financial Irresponsibility

You don’t need to be rich, but you do need to be responsible with your money. Constantly complaining about being broke, borrowing money without repaying it, or making flashy, unwise purchases can all be signs of financial immaturity. It suggests a lack of foresight and an inability to manage one’s own life.

Financial stability is an important aspect of adult life, and demonstrating irresponsibility in this area can make a woman question your reliability as a partner. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) offers numerous resources on financial literacy, emphasizing that skills like budgeting and saving are key to long-term security. A lack of these skills can be a major source of stress in a relationship.

Tip: Create a simple budget and try to stick to it. Demonstrating thoughtfulness about your finances shows maturity and responsibility, which are highly attractive qualities.

Negative and Constant Complaining

Everyone has bad days and needs to vent sometimes. But a person who is relentlessly negative and complains about everything is emotionally draining to be around. A pessimistic outlook can suck the joy out of any situation and make for a very unpleasant companion. It can make a woman feel like she has to be your personal cheerleader, which is exhausting.

Positivity and a good sense of humor are highly attractive qualities. They show resilience and an ability not to let life’s small annoyances get them down. Harvard Health Publishing notes that a positive outlook is linked to better health outcomes and greater life satisfaction. Constant negativity, therefore, signals not just an unpleasant personality but a potentially unhealthy lifestyle.

Pro Tip: Practice gratitude. Try to focus on the things that are going well in your life instead of dwelling on the negatives. It can shift your whole perspective and make you a more pleasant person to be around.

Poor Posture

It might sound superficial, but your body language speaks volumes before you even say a word. Slouching or hunching over can project a lack of confidence and low energy. It can make you appear closed-off, insecure, or disinterested. Good posture, on the other hand, conveys confidence, openness, and vitality.

The way you carry yourself affects how others perceive you. Good posture helps with balance and can prevent muscle fatigue. Standing up straight not only makes you look more self-assured but also has physical benefits, suggesting you take care of your body. It’s a subtle yet powerful signal of self-respect.

Tip: Be mindful of your posture throughout the day. Gently pull your shoulders back, engage your core, and hold your head high. It can instantly change how you look and feel.

Mansplaining

“Mansplaining” happens when a man explains something to a woman in a condescending or patronizing way, often on a topic she already knows about. It assumes she is ignorant and he is the expert. This behavior is incredibly frustrating and disrespectful. It shuts down conversation and makes a woman feel belittled.

It’s not about explaining something; it’s about the assumption of superiority behind the explanation. It implies that her knowledge or experience is less valid than his. This dynamic is a major turn-off because it shows a lack of respect for her intelligence and capabilities. A true conversation involves an equal exchange of ideas, not a lecture.

Not Having Your Own Opinion

Being agreeable is one thing, but having no opinions of your own is another. If a guy constantly agrees with everything a woman says or always defers to her choices (“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”), It can come across as a lack of personality or backbone. Women are generally attracted to someone who has their own thoughts and isn’t afraid to share them.

A relationship is a partnership between two individuals, not a hierarchical structure of a leader and a follower. Expressing your own opinions and preferences demonstrates that you are an individual. It makes for more interesting conversations and a more balanced dynamic. Being indecisive all the time can put the burden of all decision-making on her, which can become tiring.

Tip: It’s okay to disagree sometimes. As long as you are respectful, sharing a different perspective can lead to great conversations. Don’t be afraid to state your preference.

One-Upping Her Stories

When she shares a story or an accomplishment, the right response is to be supportive and engaged. The wrong response is to immediately follow it up with a story of your own that is bigger, better, or more dramatic. This “one-upping” behavior shifts the focus back to you and can make her feel that you’re competing with her rather than connecting.

It invalidates her experience by suggesting it wasn’t that impressive. It turns a moment of sharing into a contest. Listening and showing genuine interest in her story is far more attractive. It shows that you are happy for her and that you see her as a partner, not a rival.

Pro Tip: When she shares something, ask follow-up questions. Show you were listening and that you’re interested in hearing more. For example, say, “That sounds amazing! What was the best part about it?”

Using Cringey Pick-Up Lines

Cheesy, overused, or inappropriate pick-up lines rarely work. They often come across as insincere, unoriginal, and sometimes even creepy. Most women prefer a genuine, simple opening to a conversation over a rehearsed line. It shows you are confident enough to be yourself and have a normal interaction.

Pick-up lines can feel like a script, which prevents any real connection from forming. They can make a woman feel like she’s just another target rather than an individual you’re genuinely interested in getting to know. A simple “hello” and a sincere compliment or an observation about your shared environment are much more effective.

Tip: Just be a normal human. Approach her with a simple, friendly greeting. Ask a genuine question. Authenticity is far more appealing than any clever line you can memorize.

Lack of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of others. A guy with low EQ might be unable to handle his own anger or frustration, lack empathy for what she’s feeling, or be unable to communicate his feelings constructively. This can make a relationship incredibly difficult.

According to research highlighted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), higher emotional intelligence is associated with greater relationship satisfaction and stability. A partner with low EQ may be prone to misunderstandings, unnecessary conflicts, and an inability to provide emotional support. This lack of emotional depth is a significant turnoff for women seeking a meaningful connection.

Being a Flake

Consistently canceling plans at the last minute or being unreliable shows a lack of respect for her time. “Flaking” sends the message that she is not a priority and that your commitment is not solid. It erodes trust and makes it difficult for her to depend on you.

Everyone has to cancel sometimes, but a pattern of unreliability is a major problem. It shows a lack of consideration and basic organizational skills. If you can’t be counted on for small things, like showing up for a coffee date, it raises questions about your reliability for bigger things in a relationship.

Tip: If you must cancel, give as much notice as possible, offer a sincere apology, and immediately suggest a specific time to reschedule. This shows you still value her and want to see her.

Pressuring for Intimacy

Pressuring a woman for physical intimacy, whether subtly or overtly, is a massive turn-off and a huge boundary violation. It suggests that your primary interest is physical, rather than emotional, and that you do not respect her feelings or her pace. A real connection is built on mutual desire and respect, not coercion.

Respecting her “no” or her hesitation is non-negotiable. Pushing back against it shows a profound lack of respect for her autonomy. Health and safety organizations universally emphasize the importance of consent. Pushing boundaries in this area is not just a turn-off; it’s a dangerous red flag about your character.

Pro Tip: Focus on building an emotional and intellectual connection first. Let physical intimacy develop naturally as a result of that connection and mutual desire. Always prioritize her comfort and clear consent.

6 tips for successful weight loss for women in 2025

6 Tips For Successful Weight Loss For Women in 2025

Successful weight loss for women often calls for an individualized approach, taking into consideration the unique physiological, psychological, and lifestyle factors that influence a woman’s weight. It’s not just about adopting a generic calorie-restricted diet or a strenuous exercise regime. Instead, it encompasses a holistic view of health, including balanced nutrition, regular physical activity, adequate sleep, and stress management.

In this article, we will walk you through a step-by-step guide to help you on your fitness journey and discuss how Ozempic may benefit your weight loss routine.