8 sacrifices women make in marriage that can lead to lasting resentment

Marriage, at its best, should be a partnership of equals.

But too often, women sacrifice pieces of themselves in the hope of keeping love alive. Men, on the other hand, often move overseas for career development or further studies. And they adapt so quickly, even starting new relationships with locals in their new country of residence.

According to a ResearchGate study on stress and resilience in married military couples, spouses left at home, most often women, take on disproportionate household and emotional responsibilities during separations. They manage childcare, finances, and stability while their partners are away, often at significant cost to their own well-being.

Similarly, a review on military life from Healthy Marriage Info found that reintegration after long absences adds another layer of stress, with women bearing the brunt of adjustment challenges. These findings reflect what many women already know: men often move on and adapt quickly, while women carry the invisible weight of holding everything together.

Women are far more likely than men to put aside personal priorities for the sake of the relationship. And while some sacrifices feel necessary in the moment, they often leave behind long shadows of regret.

Below are eight sacrifices women make in marriage that can quietly build into lasting resentment.

When intimacy is limited due to the excuse that he works more

Many women let emotional or physical distance pass as “just the career,” but long work hours often become an easy explanation for a growing intimacy gap. The real pain doesn’t always come from missing sex—it’s the quiet erosion of closeness, desire, and emotional safety.

The key takeaway: Allowing work to consistently excuse distance weakens the connection and can build a foundation for resentment.

According to a 2023 ParentData survey on sex lives after having kids, only 30% of parents report sex one to two times per week, while 44.5% say they’re down to one to two times per month—and this drop hits hardest right after childbirth due to exhaustion, lack of privacy, and stress.

Less frequent sex often overlaps with resentment about unshared emotional and domestic labor, reinforcing the feeling of being “on hold” in the relationship.

Mankeeping

Many women find themselves carrying far more than they should, quietly hoping their partner will eventually “figure it out.” But what starts as small reminders about bills, birthdays, or household tasks slowly expands into emotional project management. It’s not just about chores—it’s also about supporting his friendships, his well-being, and even his social survival.

A recent study published on ResearchGate by Ferrara and Vergara (2024), titled Theorizing Mankeeping: The Male Friendship Recession and Women’s Associated Labor as a Structural Component of Gender Inequality, highlights how women often step in to provide emotional and social stability for men who lack strong friendships of their own.

The research, grounded in U.S. and European social trends, reveals that this type of “mankeeping” is structurally unequal: it drains women’s time and energy while leaving men unaware of the hidden costs. Over time, the weight of doing both the household’s labor and the emotional caretaking leaves her wondering why she ever accepted an imbalance disguised as love.

Giving up your hobbies to embrace his

A 2024 U.S.–based longitudinal study published in Family Process followed over 1,300 newly married couples from a range of income levels and found something telling: shared leisure time can buffer the stress pull of financial hardship—but only for higher-income couples ([Totenhagen et al., University of Alabama and Brigham Young University]).

In other words, doing things together only helps if there is an emotional—and financial—balance to sustain it. For couples with fewer resources, shared activities can actually exacerbate strain, especially if one partner (often the wife) sacrifices her own joy to keep the relationship afloat.

That study highlights a critical lesson: hobbies are more than just a form of downtime. They’re anchors of identity and resilience. When one partner sacrifices their hobbies in the name of togetherness—while the other continues unencumbered—it creates an imbalance that can sour the connection and fuel long-term resentment.

International Marriages

You move halfway across the globe for love, stepping into new customs, languages, and expectations, and thinking he’s doing the same. Instead, he seems to fit right in: building a network, thriving at work, dating locals. Meanwhile, you’re expected to carry on as usual, managing loneliness, adapting to new norms, and holding the emotional fort without a pause.

The risk isn’t romance fading; it’s that the emotional and social void you fill isn’t even seen as work. The National Bridal Service warns that marrying a foreigner can introduce serious legal and cultural vulnerabilities: bogus identity claims, immigration scams, and bizarre paperwork intricacies can put you at a disadvantage long before you see it.

Over time, this uneven terrain reveals itself not as a sacrifice, but as a means of survival. You’re the anchor in a relationship that gave you the farthest move, not just geographically, but emotionally. And when everything starts to slip away under that weight, resentment isn’t an accident; it’s a signal.

You Might Like: Dating Abroad? These Countries Love American Guys

Turning down job opportunities out of fear that long-distance work won’t work

The 2023 study in Review of Regional Research examining out-commuters in Germany’s peripheral regions found that couples navigating geographical separation often face disproportionate stress on the partner left behind, especially women. Women reported career delays, feelings of isolation, and difficulties balancing household responsibilities while their partners adapted to new work environments.

However, relationships that included strong communication, shared financial planning, and mutual understanding reported higher satisfaction, despite the physical distance.

The takeaway is clear: long-distance doesn’t have to equal lost opportunity. With intentional strategies, such as daily or weekly check-ins, shared goal-setting, and clear expectations, couples can maintain a connection while allowing each partner’s career and personal life to thrive.

Putting off career development because it takes time, money, and focus

A 2019 study by  Hasnidar on married women employees in Indonesia’s banking sector found that work-family conflict significantly hampers both performance and career development. The study revealed that work-family conflict negatively affects performance and career development, with performance having an insignificant effect on career development.

This suggests that the higher the work-family conflict, the lower the career development, regardless of performance levels. This dynamic often leads women to prioritize immediate family needs over long-term career goals.

The emotional labor of managing home responsibilities, coupled with the financial strain of pursuing further education or training, can make career advancement seem like an unattainable luxury. Consequently, many women find themselves in a cycle where career development is perpetually postponed, not due to a lack of desire, but because the emotional and financial costs are deemed too burdensome.

Holding back on acquiring assets for fear of divorce will leave you exposed

This cautious approach may seem prudent, but over time it can lead to frustration and resentment. Women are effectively putting their financial growth on hold to safeguard a partnership that may not equally value economic advancement.

When spouses are unevenly committed to building assets, whether through savings, investments, or entrepreneurial ventures, women bear a disproportionate share of the risk. They may avoid starting a business, buying investment property, or even increasing retirement contributions, because the potential gains feel too exposed without guaranteed reciprocity.

Sacrificing inheritance for the family, only to see it fall under his control

In community property states, such as California, Texas, and Arizona, as well as in equitable distribution states like New York and Florida, anything acquired during marriage, including money, property, or investments, can be considered marital or matrimonial property. That means your inheritance, once merged into shared accounts or used to support household needs, could legally fall under joint control, leaving you with little autonomy if the marriage dissolves.

The emotional sting is often worse than the legal risk. What began as an act of generosity can feel like surrender, especially when your spouse’s contributions to asset growth are minimal or nonexistent. Over time, this can breed quiet resentment: the knowledge that your foresight, planning, and sacrifice didn’t guarantee the protection or respect you expected.

The 15 Things Women Only Do With the Men They Love

The 15 Things Women Only Do With the Men They Love

Love is a complex, beautiful emotion that inspires profound behaviors. We express our love in various ways, some universal, while others are unique to each individual. Among these expressions, there are specific actions women often reserve for the men they deeply love.

This piece explores 15 unique gestures women make when they’re in love. From tiny, almost invisible actions to grand declarations, each tells a story of deep affection and unwavering commitment. Read on to discover these 15 things women only do