11 Behaviors That Suggest a Person May Struggle in Life
Ever feel like you’re treading water, working hard but not really getting anywhere?
Life is… a lot right now. A 2024 Discover survey found that a whopping 80% of Americans have anxiety about their financial situation. And a 2025 Pew Research poll found 57% of us rate our personal finances as just “fair” or “poor.”
Struggling is a shared human experience. But sometimes, the biggest struggles aren’t just about the bank account. They’re about the habits we use to cope.
These habits are the real tripwires. They’re the little things we do, often without thinking, that keep us stuck in a loop.
Recognizing them is the first step to breaking free.
They’re a ‘chronic procrastinator’
We all put things off. I mean, who hasn’t suddenly decided to deep-clean the kitchen when a big deadline is looming? But chronic procrastination is a different beast.
This isn’t laziness; it’s a way of life. Dr. Joseph Ferrari, a leading researcher on this, found that about 20% of U.S. adults are true chronic procrastinators.
It’s not a “time management” problem. As psychologist Dr. Timothy Pychyl says, it’s an “emotional management problem.” We delay the task to avoid the bad feelings associated with it—like stress, boredom, or fear of failure.
The problem? It’s a vicious cycle. You feel stressed, so you put it off. Putting it off gives you a second of relief, but then it piles on even more stress and guilt later.
They ‘upgrade’ their life with every raise
You know this one. A new job or a raise comes through, and suddenly, the old car, apartment, or wardrobe just won’t do. This is “lifestyle creep,” and it’s a silent wealth killer.
It’s the reason so many people feel broke, no matter how much money they make. As financial expert Charles A. Jaffe put it, “It’s not your salary that makes you rich, it’s your spending habits.”
They use ‘retail therapy’ to manage emotions
Had a terrible day at work? A fight with your partner? Oh, look, a 20% off sale. Using shopping to manage feelings is a short-term fix with long-term consequences.
It’s an incredibly common habit. In 2024, the average American was spending $281.75 per month on impulse buys. And a staggering 84% of all shoppers admit to making these spontaneous purchases.
New tools just make it easier. “Buy Now, Pay Later” (BNPL) services, which are expected to be used by 91.5 million Americans in 2025, are basically impulse buying on an installment plan. It’s a trap that feels good for a second, but as Warren Buffett famously warned, “If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.”
They seem to have a ‘victim mentality’
This one is tough. We all know people who have been through genuine, terrible hardships. But a victim mentality is when a person gets stuck in that story forever.
It’s a worldview where everything bad that happens is someone else’s fault. Psychologists call this “learned helplessness.” Dr. Martin E.P. Seligman defined it as “the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.”
People stuck in this mindset constantly blame external factors, struggle to take personal responsibility, and may even feel a little “moral superiority” for being wronged. It’s a coping mechanism that often stems from past trauma. But it’s a coping mechanism that keeps you powerless.
They are completely ‘disengaged’ at work
This is that ‘quiet quitting’ energy—the feeling of just… being done. This isn’t just a “bad attitude”; it’s a sign of a massive problem. Employee engagement in the U.S. is tanking.
Gallup data from 2024 showed that employee engagement hit a 10-year low. Right now, only about 31% of U.S. employees feel genuinely engaged in their work.
The rest? They’re just… there. This is especially true for workers under 35. It’s a screaming red flag for widespread burnout.
They seem to pull away from friends and family
When we’re struggling—whether with money, work, or our mental health—the shame can make us want to hide. This is the single most dangerous behavior on the list. U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy officially declared loneliness and isolation a “public health epidemic” in 2023.
And it’s not who you think. Cigna’s 2023 Vitality Index found that Gen Z (71%) and Millennials (65%) are the loneliest generations, way more so than Baby Boomers (44%). This isn’t just “feeling sad.” This is a real health risk.
A landmark meta-analysis co-authored by Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that a lack of social connection heightens health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It’s also twice as harmful as obesity.
They are fiercely resistant to change
You know the person: they complain about the new software, the new boss, the new company policy… anything new.
In today’s world, resisting change is a form of self-sabotage. This is a massive career-killer. It’s estimated that up to 70% of corporate change initiatives fail. A top reason? You guessed it: employee resistance.
Why? Research from 2023 by Oak Engage points to “fear of the unknown” (38%) and a “lack of trust” (41%). It’s what Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck calls a “fixed mindset.” People with this mindset believe their abilities are set in stone.
As Dweck notes, their logic is: “If success means they’re smart, then failure means they’re dumb.” They’d rather fail by not trying than risk looking dumb trying something new.
They can’t take (or even hear) criticism
This is a giant, flashing neon sign of that same “fixed mindset.” If a person gets defensive, angry, or shuts down at the smallest piece of feedback, they’ve blocked their only path to growth.
They don’t hear “Here’s a tip that could help you.” They hear “You are a total failure.” It’s a deep-seated fear. As Sheila Heen, a Harvard Law School expert and co-author of Difficult Conversations, says, “We have the biggest emotional reaction to the evaluation part because we hate being judged.”
The irony? People who give feedback are just as scared. One survey found 44% of managers find giving negative feedback stressful, and 21% avoid it altogether. It’s a cycle of fear that guarantees no one gets any better.
They are still holding onto old grudges
We’ve all been hurt. But holding a grudge is like letting someone you can’t stand live in your head, rent-free.
The Mayo Clinic is very clear that this has real, physical consequences. Forgiveness is linked to “less anxiety, stress, and hostility,” “lower blood pressure,” and “a stronger immune system.”
When you replay that old fight in your mind, your brain “reacts as if you’re having the same experience over and over again,” flooding your body with stress hormones.
Letting go isn’t for them. It’s for you.
They believe ‘upskilling’ and ‘networking’ are pointless
“I’m too old for that.” “I don’t ‘do’ social media.” “Networking is just… icky.” This is the fixed mindset (see #7) applied directly to a career.
It’s also a ticket to becoming obsolete. The World Economic Forum’s 2025 Future of Jobs Report identified “skills gaps” as the single largest barrier to business transformation. The skills in highest demand? Things like AI, big data, creative thinking, and “a commitment to lifelong learning.”
Good employees know this. A 2024 PwC survey found that 67% of workers say “opportunities to learn new skills” are a key factor in deciding to change jobs.
They actively avoid looking at their bank account
You know that feeling of “financial dread”? When you know the bills are there, so you just… don’t look? This is “financial avoidance”— just procrastination with a dollar sign.
It’s a way to manage anxiety. And that anxiety is rampant: 80% of Americans are stressed about their finances.
So, we avoid. A 2025 study found that 22% of consumers avoid checking their finances altogether.
The problem is, you can’t manage what you don’t measure. You’re swapping short-term comfort for long-term disaster.
They tend to burn bridges when they leave
We’ve all dreamed of that cinematic “I quit!” moment where we tell the boss exactly what we think. People who actually do this are sacrificing their entire future for one moment of emotional release.
Listen, workplaces can be toxic. But how you leave is what people remember. Research shows most people (31%) leave “By The Book”—professionally, with a letter and a conversation.
Burning a bridge is a final act of blame that almost always backfires. Your industry is smaller than you think. Remember the classic warning: “Be careful how you treat people on your way up the ladder… because you’ll meet those same exact people on your way back down.”
Key Takeaway
If you read this list and thought, “Ouch… that’s me,” first, take a breath. The biggest takeaway is that these behaviors are signals, not life sentences.
That’s it. They’re just habits. Most of them are just misguided attempts to cope with a world that feels overwhelming. They are ways we try to avoid pain—the pain of a boring task, a scary bank account, or a past hurt.
You don’t have to fix all 12 things tomorrow. The first step is just noticing. And by reading this, you’ve already done that.
Disclosure line: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.
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