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How to Be a Great Guest This Holiday Season

As the holiday season approaches, many of us are lucky to be invited to gatherings with family and friends. Being a guest comes with certain etiquette expectations, from arrival times to cleanup help, and knowing how to navigate these social nuances can make a big difference. Here are some essential tips to ensure you’re the kind of guest who’s welcome back year after year.

1. Arriving on Time: Finding the Right Balance

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A common question for holiday guests is, “When should I arrive?” In general, punctuality is courteous, but arriving too early can catch the host off guard while they’re still preparing. Here’s a simple rule of thumb:

  • If there’s a set meal time – Arrive 10–15 minutes early, especially if it’s a sit-down meal. This slight early arrival gives you time to settle in, greet others, and avoid causing delays.
  • For a casual open house or party – Arriving on time is appreciated, but there’s often a 30-minute grace period. Hosts at casual gatherings usually expect people to filter in, so you have a bit more flexibility.

If running late, always let the host know. A quick message shows respect and allows them to adjust if needed.

2. Should You Ask What to Bring?

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While hosts often love to provide for their guests, it’s thoughtful to ask if you can bring something. Here’s how to approach it:

  • Ask politely – A simple, “Is there anything I can bring?” shows your willingness to contribute without assuming responsibility for a key dish. Some hosts might gladly accept help with appetizers, desserts, or drinks, while others prefer to handle it all themselves.
  • Respect their answer – If they say no, don’t press. Bringing an unexpected dish can interfere with a carefully planned menu. Instead, consider bringing a small, thoughtful gift like a bottle of wine, seasonal flowers, or festive treats for the host to enjoy later.

3. Offering to Help: Cleanup and Beyond

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One of the hallmarks of being a great guest is helping out where needed. Many hosts appreciate the offer to help clean up, even if they decline it. Here are some ways to lend a hand:

  • Offer genuinely – Say something like, “I’d be happy to help with dishes or clearing the table.” If they refuse, don’t insist; some hosts want their guests to relax.
  • Tidy up after yourself – Clearing your own plates or empty glasses is a small but helpful gesture. If you’re in a close-knit setting, jump in where you can; for instance, putting dirty dishes by the sink or arranging used utensils for easy washing can be a big help.
  • Help with leftovers – If there’s an abundance of food, offer to take some home. Hosts sometimes prepare extra food but dread having too many leftovers, so they might appreciate help with portioning or packing food away.

4. If You’re Invited Alone, Should You Ask to Bring Someone Else?

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Holiday invitations can be tricky if you’re invited solo but want to bring a friend or date. Here’s how to approach the situation:

  • Consider the host’s situation – If the gathering seems small or intimate, it may be best to avoid asking. However, for a larger or casual event, politely inquire if your friend or partner could join. Phrase it as, “If it’s alright with you, could I bring a guest along?”
  • Don’t push if the answer is no – Remember, the host may have limited space, food, or other constraints. Respect their answer to avoid putting them in an uncomfortable position.

In general, if you’re unsure whether the invite extends to a plus-one, a gentle inquiry is acceptable but should be left alone if declined.

5. Kids and Pets: When It’s Okay to Ask

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If you’re a parent or pet owner, navigating invitations can be especially tricky. Kids and pets are typically a sensitive topic, so follow these guidelines:

  • For kids – Never assume children are welcome, especially if the invite doesn’t mention them. Ask tactfully if there’s any uncertainty, e.g., “Are children invited, or would you prefer an adults-only gathering?” If your kids aren’t included, consider arranging childcare.
  • For pets – Pets, especially dogs, are beloved but may not be welcome guests. Always ask before bringing them, as some hosts may have allergies, pets of their own, or delicate décor. Phrase it as, “Would you mind if I brought my dog, or should I make other arrangements?” If the answer is no, respect it and make alternate plans for your furry friend.

6. Expressing Your Thanks: Showing Appreciation

Saying Thank you.
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Gratitude goes a long way in showing appreciation for the effort your host has put in. Here’s how you can express it sincerely:

  • Say thank you in person – A warm, heartfelt “Thank you for hosting” as you leave is essential.
  • Follow up – A quick message the next day can mean a lot. Send a text or email saying how much you enjoyed the event and any specific compliments about the food, decorations, or atmosphere. If the occasion was particularly elaborate, consider sending a handwritten note or small gift as a more personal gesture.

7. Understanding Boundaries: How to Be the Right Amount of Social

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In holiday settings, it’s good to read the room when it comes to social interaction. Not everyone may be in the mood for extended conversation, so adjust to the atmosphere.

  • Engage with different groups – Make an effort to circulate and chat with a few different people. Engaging with other guests and introducing yourself is a respectful way to contribute to the event’s warmth.
  • Gauge the vibe – If the gathering feels more low-key, respect that by keeping conversations light and relaxed. Avoid dominating discussions or pushing controversial topics, as holiday gatherings are often meant for everyone to unwind.

8. Be Mindful of Drinking and Personal Limits

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Holiday gatherings often include a variety of food and drink options, including alcohol. Enjoy yourself, but remember that moderation is part of being a considerate guest.

  • Know your limits – Overindulging in alcohol can dampen the mood or create additional stress for the host. Limit yourself to a few drinks if you know you tend to get overly talkative or excitable after too many.
  • Stay aware of others – If you notice a fellow guest drinking too much, subtly encourage them to have some water or eat something. Watching out for each other can make the party more enjoyable for everyone.

9. Exiting Gracefully

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Knowing when and how to leave is also part of being a great guest. Unless it’s a late-night party, don’t be the last to leave unless you’re particularly close to the host.

  • Look for cues – Hosts may start winding down by tidying up or dimming lights. If you see these signals, take them as a gentle suggestion to prepare your goodbye.
  • Express your thanks again – A final thank-you as you depart, even if you helped clean up, leaves a positive impression.

By following these simple guidelines, you’ll be well on your way to being a gracious, considerate guest this holiday season. Showing respect for your host’s efforts, helping where you can, and bringing positive energy to the gathering will make the celebration memorable for everyone. And remember, gratitude and good manners never go out of style, especially during the holidays!

Family Gatherings Feeling Tense This Year? Here’s My Guide to Keeping the Peace

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Holidays can be a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. However, for many, gatherings bring challenges, especially when politics come into play. If your family or friend group is politically diverse, conversations can sometimes veer into sensitive topics that may lead to tension.

This year tensions in families and between friends has been increased exponentially due to the election. Some families and friends may choose to forego getting together at all. But if you have chosen to prioritize community and family connection and will be gathering together this year we offer the following guidance.

READ: Family Gatherings Feeling Tense This Year? Here’s My Guide to Keeping the Peace

Feeling Anxious About Talking Things Out? Here’s What I Suggest

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Most people don’t want to ask their boss for a raise, confront their partner about their poor habits, or tell a friend they crossed the line. But if we don’t do these things, we can get stuck — stuck with bad pay, a frustrating partner, or an inconsiderate friend. 

Difficult conversations are an inevitable part of life, whether in personal relationships or professional settings. Approaching these discussions with the right mindset and strategies can lead to positive outcomes, like a higher salary or a more fulfilling relationship! I have some tips to help you navigate challenging conversations effectively, so maybe these tough discussions don’t have to be so daunting.

READ: Feeling Anxious About Talking Things Out? Here’s What I Suggest

Women, Are You Apologizing Too Much? Here’s How to Find Out and Stop

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If we were to go through your work sent emails and texts, how many instances of “sorry” would we find? Did you say it once last month? Or ten times in one day?

READ: Women, Are You Apologizing Too Much? Here’s How to Find Out and Stop

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  • Dede Wilson Headshot Circle

    Dédé Wilson is a journalist with over 17 cookbooks to her name and is the co-founder and managing partner of the digital media partnership Shift Works Partners LLC, currently publishing through two online media brands, FODMAP Everyday® and The Queen Zone.

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