10 funny things women pretend they don’t do

Your Instagram feed is a highlight reel, but your private life is the chaotic, hilarious behind-the-scenes footage. We all do it. We present a polished, curated version of ourselves to the world. But what happens when the audience is gone and we’re “backstage”?

The legendary sociologist Erving Goffman, in his 1956 book The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life, used the metaphor of a theater to explain it all. He argued that when we’re in public, we’re actors on a stage, carefully managing our setting, appearance, and manner.

As Goffman himself put it, “When an individual appears before others, he will have many motives for trying to control the impression they receive of the situation.”

We have a full-blown relationship with a celebrity who doesn’t know we exist

That celebrity you dream about? You’re not just a fan; you’re in a “parasocial relationship,” and you’ve got lots of company. This is the official term for the one-sided bonds we form with media figures that feel surprisingly real. And it’s not some fringe habit reserved for teenagers.

This is incredibly common. Research from media psychology scholar Rebecca Tukachinsky Forster reveals that some 80% of people report having these fanciful relationships. So, that feeling that you and Chris Evans would just get each other? Totally normal.

We rehearse entire conversations in the shower before they happen

If you’ve ever won an argument in your head before it even started, you’re not weird—you’re engaging in a classic cognitive warm-up. You’ve scripted the perfect comeback, planned your talking points for asking for a raise, and mentally prepared for that tough chat with a friend.

This habit is what communication researchers refer to as creating “imagined interactions” (IIs), and it serves a real purpose through a form of mental rehearsal. It’s particularly common among people who experience social anxiety, a condition that, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, occurs more frequently in women than in men.

It’s actually a brilliant coping strategy. A study published in the journal Communication Education shows that this mental prep work can effectively mitigate anxiety and even lead to more fluent speech with fewer awkward pauses when the real conversation happens.

We’re secretly stalking our ex (and their new partner, and their new partner’s dog)

You closed the chapter on that relationship, but you haven’t quite closed the browser tab. A quick peek at their Instagram story can’t hurt, right? Before you know it, you’re 37 weeks deep into their new partner’s feed, analyzing a blurry photo of their dog.

According to a 2020 NortonLifeLock survey, nearly half of Americans (46%) admit to ‘stalking’ an ex or current partner online. While men tend to check more frequently, one study from digital PR agency Reboot Online found that women check an ex’s social media, on average, about once every 92 days.

But it’s not always about wanting them back. Sometimes, it’s about “winning” the breakup—a quiet competition to see who’s happier or more successful now. Other times, it’s simply a way for our brains to process the “emotional residue” of the relationship and try to make sense of a story that ended without a clear conclusion.

That favorite bra has seen things… and hasn’t seen a washing machine in weeks

Let’s be honest, you have a “chair bra.” It’s not dirty enough for the hamper, but it’s definitely not clean enough for the drawer. It exists in a state of laundry limbo, ready for duty at a moment’s notice.

This isn’t just you; it’s a documented phenomenon. Research by company Dr Beckmann, which quizzed over 2,000 ladies, revealed that British women rarely wash their bras, often waiting at least eight weeks before tossing them in the laundry.

This reality stands in stark contrast to expert advice. Dermatologists, like Dr. Mokaya, generally recommend washing bras “after every two to four wears to maintain proper hygiene and skin health.” The massive gap between that recommendation and our actual habits is where the humor—and the truth—lies.

So, why the discrepancy? It’s not just about procrastination. Two very practical reasons are at play: longevity and cost. Frequent machine washing can destroy the delicate elastic and shorten the lifespan of what is often an expensive garment. High-quality bras are a worthwhile investment, especially for individuals with larger cup sizes.

Our real best friend is a can of dry shampoo

Some days, your entire personality is held together by caffeine and a well-aimed blast of dry shampoo. That extra 20 minutes of sleep was worth it, and now you’re relying on a miracle in a can to make you look like a functioning human.

This “lazy girl essential” has become a non-negotiable staple in modern life.

The product is so integrated into our lives that there are now viral TikTok hacks on how to apply it most effectively, like letting it sit for 5 to 10 minutes to fully absorb oil before brushing it out.

We’re master snack smugglers, even from our own families

You know that secret chocolate bar you’ve hidden behind the quinoa? That’s not just a snack; it’s a carefully guarded moment of emotional self-preservation.

Secret eating is a remarkably common behavior, often driven by complex psychological factors.

A major culprit is diet culture. For decades, we’ve been told certain foods are “good” and others are “bad,” creating a sense of shame around indulgence. We eat in secret to avoid judgment from others, or even the critical voice inside our own heads.

We cry at that one phone commercial. Every. Single. Time.

If a two-minute video of a soldier surprising their golden retriever can make you sob uncontrollably, congratulations—your empathy is working perfectly. Getting misty-eyed during a heartwarming movie, a sad song, or a particularly emotional commercial isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a hallmark of a highly tuned emotional system.

There’s a biological basis for this. Foundational research by biochemist William H. Frey, which has been supported by newer studies, found that women cry an average of 5.3 times per month, compared to 1.3 times for men.

Psychologists say this tendency to cry in response to the media is directly linked to high levels of empathy. People who tear up easily aren’t just watching a story; they’re experiencing it.

The ‘floordrobe’ is our real, functional closet

That pile of clean-but-not-put-away clothes on a chair isn’t a mess. It’s a highly curated, short-term clothing rotation system. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves.

The “floordrobe” or “chairdrobe” is a real and relatable phenomenon, but it’s often a symptom of a much larger issue: clutter paralysis. A 2020 study by the National Association for Professional Organizers (NAPO) found that 54% of Americans feel overwhelmed by the amount of clutter in their homes, with the average U.S. household containing a whopping 300,000 items. For women, the closet is a particular point of stress, with 57% reporting issues with organizing it.

So, why do we let the pile grow? It’s not about laziness; it’s about decision fatigue. Professional organizer Barbara Hemphill famously hit the nail on the head when she said, “Clutter is nothing more than postponed decisions.” That heap of clothes represents a series of tiny, exhausting micro-decisions.

We take 50 selfies just to post one (or, more likely, none)

Your camera roll contains more failed selfies than the Library of Congress has books. The lighting was weird, the angle was off, you blinked—delete, delete, delete. This private photoshoot is a modern ritual of self-presentation.

This ritual is a perfect real-world example of Erving Goffman’s theory in action. The 50 discarded photos are the “back stage” rehearsal. They are the messy, unglamorous preparation for the final “front stage” performance: the one perfect shot that gets posted.​

We all have a secret ‘Monica closet’ of pure chaos

You present a perfectly organized home to the world, but there’s one closet door that you pray no guest ever opens. Behind it lies a jumble of stuff you don’t know what to do with. This is the “Monica Geller” phenomenon.

Fans of the show Friends will remember the episode where Chandler discovers Monica’s secret, messy closet—a shocking revelation for a character known for her obsessive cleanliness. This comedic plotline resonates because it taps into a real-life struggle. While NAPO reports that 54% of Americans feel overwhelmed by clutter in general, 12% specifically worry about how cluttered their homes appear to guests.

The most relatable explanation comes from professional organizer Peter Walsh, who said, “Clutter is not just the stuff on your floor – it’s anything that stands between you and the life you want to be living.” That secret closet is the ultimate “back stage” space. It’s where we physically hide the things—and the postponed decisions—that don’t fit into the neat, tidy “front stage” persona we’ve worked so hard to create.

Key Takeaway

From our secret celebrity crushes to the unwashed bra hanging on a chair, these “back stage” behaviors aren’t flaws. They’re the hilarious, human, and absolutely necessary ways we manage the performance of everyday life.

Sociologist Erving Goffman was right—we’re all just actors trying to nail our roles. The real magic, and the real fun, happens behind the curtain. So go ahead, rehearse that conversation in the shower. We’ll never tell.

Why investing for retirement is so important for women (and how to do it)

Why investing for retirement is so important for women (and how to do it)

Retirement planning can be challenging, especially for women who face unique obstacles such as the wage gap, caregiving responsibilities, and a longer life expectancy. It’s essential for women to educate themselves on financial literacy and overcome the investing gap to achieve a comfortable and secure retirement. So, let’s talk about why investing for retirement is important for women and how to start on this journey towards financial freedom.

Science Tells Us What To Expect As We Age: Strategies for Thriving in Later Life

Science Tells Us What To Expect As We Age: Strategies for Thriving in Later Life

How does aging affect our bodies and minds, and how can we adapt to those differences? These are questions that pertain to us all. Aging gradually alters people over decades, a long period shaped by individuals’ economic and social circumstances, their behaviors, their neighborhoods, and other factors. Also, while people experience common physiological issues in later life, they don’t follow a well-charted, developmentally predetermined path. Let’s take a look at what science has told us to expect.