10 Things Women Do That Would Be Emotional Abuse if Men Did Them

Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify, especially when it involves subtle behaviors. While overt control and threats are clear examples, subtler actions often go unnoticed. Research from PubMed highlights that emotional abuse, experienced by both men and women, is frequently overlooked when it doesn’t fit stereotypes.

This can lead to double standards, where certain behaviors are normalized for women but flagged as abusive for men. The goal isn’t to assign blame but to recognize harmful behaviors regardless of gender.

Using Tears to Control a Situation

Crying is a natural emotional response, but it becomes manipulative when used to end arguments, induce guilt, or avoid accountability. This shifts focus from the issue to the emotional display, leaving conflicts unresolved.

Over time, this pattern can make a partner hesitant to express their needs, fearing emotional outbursts. A PubMed study links manipulative emotional displays to psychological abuse. When tears are used to control outcomes, trust and open communication erode.

Insulting His Masculinity

Comments that belittle a man’s masculinity, like “man up” or comparisons to others, may seem harmless but can deeply damage self-esteem. These remarks exploit societal pressures and attack a core part of his identity, creating a toxic environment.

Harvard research shows that social-emotional well-being is shaped by how close relationships treat us. Criticizing masculinity is akin to sexist remarks about women, fostering judgment instead of support.

Threatening to Leave During an Argument

Using breakup threats during conflicts creates instability and fear, forcing the other partner into desperation. Instead of resolving issues, this tactic silences the other person and prevents meaningful dialogue.

PubMed links relationship instability to poor mental health, including anxiety and depression. Healthy relationships should feel secure, not like constant probation. Establishing a “no-breakup-threats” rule can help ensure conflicts are addressed constructively.

Constant “Checking In” Disguised as Caring

Frequent texts, calls, or demands for updates may seem caring but can cross into controlling behavior. This often stems from insecurity and restricts a partner’s autonomy, making them feel untrusted and isolated.

The U.S. Department of Justice identifies controlling behaviors as a form of abuse. Healthy couples trust each other. Instead of constant updates, agree on simple check-ins, like a “got there safely” text for specific situations.

Weaponizing the “Silent Treatment”

The silent treatment is more than cooling off; it’s a deliberate withdrawal of communication to punish a partner. This leaves the other person feeling confused, anxious, and desperate to fix an unclear problem.

The American Psychological Association confirms that ostracism activates the same brain areas as physical pain. The silent treatment erodes connection and forces apologies, even when unwarranted. Communicating the need for space, rather than using silence as a weapon, is a healthier approach.

Controlling the Finances

Financial control, such as managing all money or putting a partner on an allowance, strips independence and creates a power imbalance. This tactic is often disguised as “being good with money” but leaves the other person feeling trapped.

The Department of Justice recognizes economic abuse as a key tactic to prevent partners from leaving. Healthy couples approach finances as a team, with open discussions and shared access to accounts.

Making “Jokes” at His Expense in Public

Mocking a partner’s appearance, intelligence, or hobbies in public isn’t harmless teasing—it’s public humiliation. These “jokes” often contain veiled criticism, making them sting more.

The CDC identifies repeated insults as emotional abuse, and public humiliation magnifies the impact. Humor should uplift, not erode self-worth. Respecting your partner in public strengthens the relationship.

Sharing Private Information with Friends or Family

Venting about minor annoyances is normal, but sharing intimate or embarrassing details about a partner with friends or family breaches trust. This can humiliate the partner and damage their reputation.

Mutual respect is a cornerstone of healthy relationships. Before sharing, ask yourself, “Would I be okay if they shared this about me?” This ensures you’re venting, not betraying confidence.

Withholding Affection as Punishment

Withholding affection to punish a partner creates a transactional dynamic, where love and warmth are conditional. This undermines the security needed for a healthy relationship.

Secure attachment relies on consistent emotional and physical availability. Communicating the need for space, rather than withholding affection, fosters understanding without creating resentment.

Being “Helpless” to Avoid Responsibility

Feigning incompetence to avoid tasks shifts an unfair burden onto the other partner. This behavior, known as strategic incompetence, creates a parent-child dynamic instead of a partnership.

Equitable distribution of responsibilities is key to relationship satisfaction. Encouraging independence and offering support when needed fosters balance and prevents burnout.

10 Simple Habits to Recharge Your Mind and Body

10 Simple Habits to Recharge Your Mind and Body

These 10 simple habits to recharge your mind and body demonstrate that sustainable wellness starts with everyday choices, not drastic changes.

And if you’re looking for an easy way to support those habits, try pairing your morning ritual with a wellness-focused coffee.

Science Tells Us What To Expect As We Age: Strategies for Thriving in Later Life

Science Tells Us What To Expect As We Age: Strategies for Thriving in Later Life

How does aging affect our bodies and minds, and how can we adapt to those differences? These are questions that pertain to us all. Aging gradually alters people over decades, a long period shaped by individuals’ economic and social circumstances, their behaviors, their neighborhoods, and other factors. Also, while people experience common physiological issues in later life, they don’t follow a well-charted, developmentally predetermined path. Let’s take a look at what science has told us to expect.