11 Things a Woman Will Casually Say If She’s Secretly Interested in a Man
In a world where three-in-ten U.S. adults have used a dating app (Pew Research), figuring out real-life chemistry can feel like cracking the Enigma code. It all boils down to communication—or the lack of it. In fact, South Denver Therapy reports that 65% of couples cite poor communication as their biggest challenge. The confusion often starts before the first date.
Here’s the thing: flirting is designed to be subtle. It’s a way to “test the waters” without feeling too vulnerable. But this subtlety has a major downside. According to research by philosopher Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., people only accurately detect flirting 28% of the time. That means we’re getting it wrong more than two-thirds of the time.
While non-verbal cues are important, a woman’s words—even the casual, throwaway lines—can be the clearest windows into her interest.
“What kind of women do you like?”
This isn’t just small talk; she’s doing market research. She is directly asking for your dating criteria to see if she fits the description.
Think of it as a low-risk way to gather intel. In a dating culture where 76% of people have experienced ghosting, putting yourself out there is a big risk. This question lets her gauge your interest without having to say, “Are you into me?”
“I don’t usually tell people this, but…”
This is a deliberate act of granting you exclusive access. She’s signaling that she trusts you and sees you as much more than a casual acquaintance.
When a woman shares her secrets, it suggests a deeper connection is forming. Relationship experts agree that sharing personal stories is a sign of trust and comfort that rarely occurs without some level of attraction.
In a world of curated profiles and superficial chats, genuine vulnerability is a big deal. She’s offering you a piece of her authentic self to see how you handle it. It’s a test, and if you pass, you’ve proven you’re worthy of a deeper connection.
“You’re different from other guys.”
This is one of the highest forms of a compliment. She’s not just saying you’re nice; she’s saying you stand out from the crowd.
This phrase is a key indicator that she sees you as a potential partner, not just another guy in the room. According to a study in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, giving compliments makes both people feel happier, and a specific one like this carries extra weight.
It’s a powerful way to make you feel seen and valued. This line is often delivered with sincere, prolonged eye contact—a classic sign of attraction.
“We should do that together sometime.”
She’s building a verbal bridge from the present to a shared future. This is a soft invitation to see her again, moving the connection beyond just this one conversation.
This phrase is her way of testing the waters for a future meeting without the pressure of setting a specific date. If a woman is interested, she will find reasons to keep the interaction going.
It’s a low-pressure way to check your enthusiasm. Your response gives her all the information she needs to decide if she should keep dropping hints.
“Why are you still single?”
This is a huge compliment disguised as a question. The subtext is clear: “You’re such a great catch, I’m genuinely surprised you’re available.”
This is a strong sign of interest because it implies she thinks you have all the qualities of a great partner—intelligence, humor, and kindness.
It’s a classic, flirty line that both compliments you and confirms you’re actually on the market. Look for a playful tone and a head tilt when she says it; that’s a sign of high engagement and interest.
“I feel so comfortable talking to you.”
This is a massive green light. For many women, feeling safe and comfortable is the absolute foundation for any romantic connection.
In a world where 38% of women on dating apps receive unwanted explicit messages, a man who creates a sense of safety is incredibly attractive. When she says this, she’s telling you that you’ve passed a crucial test.
“I’d love your opinion on something.”
She’s signaling that she values your mind, not just your charm. By asking for your advice, she’s inviting you into her inner world.
When a woman seeks your opinion, “she’s giving you a seat at her decision-making table.” It shows she respects you and wants you to be more involved in her life.
This isn’t something people do with just anyone. If she’s turning to you for guidance, she sees you as important. Watch for vigorous head nodding while you answer—it’s a subtle sign she’s hanging on your every word.
“I wish you were here right now.”
This is one of the most direct and vulnerable phrases on the list. There’s no hidden meaning here; she misses your company and wants you around.
Dating experts call this the “most direct of all” verbal cues. She is throwing the door wide open for you to step in closer emotionally, physically, or both.
Unless you’re long-time best friends, women tend to reserve this line for someone they have a romantic spark with. It’s often sent via text, adding a layer of personal intimacy to the message.
Any mention of her being single or her ex
She’s verbally clearing the path for you to make a move. By bringing up her relationship status, she’s letting you know the coast is clear.
If a woman you’re not close with mentions she just broke up with her ex, it’s a huge signal that she’s available and interested.
Think about it: one of the easiest ways to shut down an unwanted advance is to say, “I have a boyfriend.” So, when she proactively says the opposite, she’s sending a very intentional message.
Playful teasing or disagreement
Constant agreement can be boring; playful banter builds chemistry. If she’s comfortable enough to tease you, it shows she’s not trying to be overly polite—she’s trying to flirt.
According to dating expert Hayley Quinn, disagreement delivered with a “huge smile and a playful tone of voice” is a classic flirting tactic. It’s meant to be fun and to encourage you to flirt back.
This is also a subtle confidence test. A man who can handle being teased and can dish it back with a smile is showing emotional strength and a sense of humor, which are incredibly attractive qualities.
“You always make me laugh/smile.”
She’s directly connecting you to her feelings of happiness. This is a powerful statement because it tells you that you are a source of joy in her life.
Laughter is a huge sign of connection. If she’s laughing at all your jokes—even the bad ones—it’s a strong hint she’s into you.
When someone is attracted to you, their rate of smiling naturally increases. By telling you that you make her smile, she’s verbally confirming what her body language is already screaming.
Key Takeaway
Pew Research shows that 42% of adults believe online dating has made finding a partner easier, while 33% of those under 30 say it has made it harder. In this context, being able to read the signs has become a true superpower. These 11 phrases are your cheat sheet.
But remember, context is everything. These words are most powerful when paired with positive body language, such as leaning in, making eye contact, and mirroring your gestures.
Ultimately, these phrases are clues, not contracts. Use them as the green light you’ve been waiting for to ask her out and confirm what her words have been suggesting all along.
Disclosure line: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.
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