12 things women often dislike hearing from men

Have you ever said something by accident that made a woman glare at you or go quiet?

Or perhaps you’ve wondered why your girlfriend suddenly went silent after what you thought was playful banter. Take this, for example: According to Entrepreneur, 98 percent of women have been told to smile at work at some point, and 15 percent hear this advice weekly or even more frequently.

These numbers underscore the prevalence of these scenarios, even if they may seem insignificant at first glance. Well, most men don’t mean any harm; they’re just trying to be friendly or funny. Yet, even well-meaning words can come across as dismissive, patronizing, or simply annoying.

If you just changed [X], you’d be perfect

You might be trying to help or even be romantic, but what she hears is that she’s not good enough as she is. That stings.

Giving advice disguised as a compliment can be really frustrating for women. Relationship experts say these comments suggest that love depends on fixing things first.

You should smile more

This phrase has become so universally disliked that it has practically become a meme at this point. The issue isn’t the suggestion itself, but the assumption behind it. According to a report by Entrepreneur, 98% of women reported being told to smile at work at some point in their careers.

When you tell a woman to smile, you’re saying her current mood isn’t acceptable for others to see. Maybe she’s just having a tough day, feeling stressed, or is simply focused. It’s not about your enjoyment of her smile.

Why are you so sensitive, anyway

This response shuts down effective dialogue. It doesn’t address the issue behind the emotion, but instead blames the person feeling it.

Women often read this and feel their emotions are seen as inconvenient or unreasonable. Invalidation and dismissal can impact a person’s ability to regulate their own feelings and responses, Sage Therapy highlights.

Pro tip: Emotions are just feelings—they’re easier to work with than to ignore.

You’re too emotional to handle this

This is a stereotypical old-fashioned way of thinking. This remark is a package of gender discrimination and emotional invalidity in a single, ugly package.

Research done by ScienceDirect shows that emotional intelligence can actually improve decision-making. But this is the same old clichéd argument that proposes that because women feel, they are not fit to make critical decisions.

Why are you single

This may seem like an innocent question, but it carries significant implications. It suggests that single life is a problem to solve, not a valid choice. Women often feel defensive when asked, as if something is wrong.

She may be focused on her career, enjoying her freedom, or just hasn’t met the right person. Whatever her reason, it’s personal and doesn’t require justification.

You don’t need a career; a man will take care of you

The notion that all women are waiting for a financial knight in shining armor is both presumptuous and outdated. It restricts women’s ambitions and ignores years spent on education and building careers.

It isn’t romantic to suggest women should give up their goals for dependency—it’s just tone-deaf. The Council on Contemporary Families notes that 40% of households with children are headed by women who are the main breadwinners.

Your biological clock is ticking; you’d better find a man soon!

Talk about pressure much? This remark is ageism, sexism, and unsolicited life advice all in a bundle. It diminishes women to their reproductive ability, besides dictating random timeframes to their personal decisions.

Not all women desire children, and those who do have children have a range of choices beyond the traditional schedule. There is no right time to do anything, especially with the advancement in modern fertility treatment, adoption, and changing social norms.

Don’t you get used to period pains?

This question shows a shocking ignorance regarding the health of women. Period pain is not something one becomes accustomed to, but rather a recurring medical experience that lacks considerable consistency across people.

Other women have little discomfort, and some suffer debilitating pain that requires medical intervention. It is insensitive to their health experiences to recommend that women adopt the idea of adaptation to pain.

What’s your sexual history

This is a problematic question in various ways. First, it is intrusive – the sexual history of a person is an intimate matter. Second, it is usually full of condemnation, as though the response will somehow rank her value.

Studies conducted by PubMed on sexual double standards reveal that women are much more judged compared to men regarding their sexual preferences. This inquiry perpetuates the injustice of examination and serves no productive purpose in most discussions.

When are you cooking for me

This question usually doesn’t go over well, unless you’re literally at a restaurant and she’s wearing a name tag. It assumes she cooks simply because she’s a woman, not because it’s an act of care or a chosen role.

Relationships today thrive on collaboration, not predefined gender roles. Most women see the expectation that they should cook because they’re women as outdated.

Let’s see how it goes

Although this may sound innocent, many women interpret this phrase as a sign of a lack of commitment or a lack of clarity about the relationship’s direction.

It could be like being held on reserve as a person determines if you are worth their investment.

Clear communication of intentions and expectations forms trust and confidence in a relationship. Generalized statements usually cause panic and not peace.

You have to understand, as a woman…

This expression literally means mansplaining with a neon sign. It supposes that you know her experience better than she does, which is presumptuous as well as patronizing.

Women are often frustrated when men attempt to clarify the experiences of women themselves. When the explanation is based on incorrect assumptions or stereotypes about what women think or feel, it is especially problematic.

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