The 10 hardest teachings of Jesus that modern believers often ignore

Honestly, we all love the “Jesus is my homeboy” version of the Messiah. You know the one—he high-fives you for that promotion and winks when you skip church for brunch. But if you dig into history, the honest Jesus is absolutely terrifying. Historian Tom Holland argues that the cross remains a symbol of “sheer strangeness” because it finds glory in a defeated corpse, a concept that demands we upend our world entirely. 

We have swapped this radical Nazarene for what sociologists call Moralistic Therapeutic Deism—a fancy term for “God just wants me to be happy and nice.” Spoiler alert: Data from Arizona Christian University shows that more than 30% of U.S. adults now embrace this watered-down worldview more than biblical Christianity. He wants way more than your happiness; he wants your death.

Here are the 10 hardest teachings of Jesus that we conveniently ignore.

You must hate your nuclear family

Jesus dropped a bomb in Luke 14:26, saying you can’t be his disciple unless you “hate” your parents and children. He wasn’t telling you to be a jerk at Thanksgiving; he was attacking the idol of the family. Theologian Russell Moore warns that when family becomes an ultimate good rather than a subordinate one, it becomes demonic.

Yet, we worship the “Family First” mantra. We skip the mission field for soccer practice and justify it as “stewarding our children.” The result? Our families are fragile idols. A recent YouGov poll found that 38% of Americans are estranged from a family member, suggesting that when we make family our god, it crushes us under the weight of expectation.

You have to gouge out your eye

In Matthew 5:29, Jesus says If your eye causes you to sin, rip it out. He’s talking about radical measures against lust. He didn’t say, “Install a flimsy filter and hope for the best.” He meant ruthless amputation of the source of temptation.

We prefer to keep our eyes and our smartphones. Barna Group research reveals that 54% of practicing Christians admit to viewing p*rnography, with 22% doing it weekly. Even worse, 62% of Christians who use porn say they feel “comfortable” with it. FYI, we aren’t gouging anything out; we’re inviting it into our pockets.

You cannot stockpile money

Jesus talked about money more than almost anything, warning us in Matthew 6:19 not to “store up treasures on earth.” He viewed “Mammon” as a rival god. The modern American church, however, has rebranded greed as “prudence” and “blessing.”

The numbers are tragic. Despite being the wealthiest Christians in history, giving among Evangelicals has dropped to just 2.5% of income. We aren’t trusting God for our future; we are trusting our 401(k)s. As giving drops, our reliance on wealth reveals we are functionally atheists with a fish bumper sticker.

You must not resist an evil person

“Turn the other cheek” (Matthew 5:39) is perhaps the most ignored verse in the Bible. Jesus commanded non-violence, refusing to return evil for evil. He called us to absorb violence, not dish it out.

Try telling that to a culture obsessed with self-defense. Pew Research shows that 45% of Republicans (a proxy for white evangelicals) personally own a gun, compared to 20% of Democrats. We trust the Glock more than the Cross. We’ve bought the myth of redemptive violence—that we can kill our way to peace—hook, line, and sinker.

You cannot divorce for happiness

In Matthew 5:32, Jesus made marriage nearly indissoluble, creating a standard so high his disciples freaked out. He equated remarriage (in most cases) with adultery. He wasn’t trying to be cruel; he was modeling the permanent covenant of God.

We’ve adopted the culture’s “no-fault” mindset instead. Barna stats consistently show the divorce rate among Christians is 35%, statistically identical to the non-Christian world. When marriage gets hard, we bail, proving we value personal fulfillment over covenant keeping. It’s hard to preach the gospel of an eternal bond when our earthly pictures of it have an expiration date.

You must love your political enemies

Jesus didn’t say “tolerate” your enemies; he said love them and pray for them (Matthew 5:44). In a time of Roman occupation, this was revolutionary. Today, it means loving the political party that drives you crazy.

Instead, we practice “collateral contempt.” Research shows that “loathing the other side” is now a primary political motivator. We don’t pray for our opponents; we meme them to death. When 48% of evangelical leaders report feeling “cancelled” or excluded, it shows we are playing the world’s power games rather than washing feet.

You must invite the poor to dinner

Luke 14:12 is specific: don’t invite your rich friends who can pay you back. Invite the poor and marginalized. Jesus commanded “downward mobility” at the dinner table.

We practice “Garage Door Christianity”—we pull in, hit the button, and hide. Major studies from Cigna, Ipsos, and the NIH show high levels of loneliness and isolation, fueling an epidemic of loneliness. We’ve swapped radical hospitality for “safe” playdates. If your dinner table looks exactly like your mirror, you’re doing it wrong.

You have to die to yourself

“Take up your cross daily” (Luke 9:23) sounds nice until you realize the cross was a tool for execution. Jesus wants you dead—dead to your ego, your plans, and your autonomy.

We’ve replaced this with the cult of self-care. We treat God like a cosmic therapist who exists to validate our feelings. The fallout is real: recent studies, particularly by Barna Research, show that 42% of pastors have seriously considered quitting, often crushed by the pressure to maintain a “successful” image rather than a crucified life. You can’t resurrect what you refuse to kill.

You might not get into heaven

Jesus warned that the gate is narrow and that “few” find it (Matthew 7:14). He spoke frequently of hell and judgment. It’s the ultimate buzzkill for a universalist culture.

We ignore this by assuming everyone is going to a “better place” regardless of their faith. Pew Research shows a massive rise in the “nones” (now 29% of adults), partly because the church has stopped preaching the urgency of the narrow gate. We act like salvation is the default setting, making the Great Commission feel like a suggestion.

You must forgive 77 times

In Matthew 18:22, Jesus demands infinite forgiveness. He links our own forgiveness from God to our willingness to forgive others. It’s mathematically impossible to keep score.

We love holding grudges. Studies confirm that holding grudges increases cortisol and heart disease risk, yet we cling to them like security blankets. We cut people off for “toxic vibes” rather than doing the hard, bloody work of reconciliation. IMO, if you want to be like Jesus, you have to forgive the unforgivable.

Key Takeaway

We’ve built a “Soft Jesus” who validates our lifestyle, but the honest Jesus demands our death so he can give us life. The data proves we look just like the world—divorced, armed, wealthy, and lonely. Ignoring these hard teachings hasn’t made us freer; it’s made us indistinguishable from the culture. The narrow path is hard, but it’s the only one that leads home.

Disclosure: This article was developed with the assistance of AI and was subsequently reviewed, revised, and approved by our editorial team.

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