The Tender Surprise I Never Saw Coming

A small offer in a quiet kitchen cracked open a new, disarming dimension of tenderness.

It started so casually that I almost missed the sweetness of it.

I was working in the kitchen, half-lost in my own thoughts. My husband walked in, glanced at my hands, and said in that offhand way people use when they’re trying not to make a big deal out of something, “You know… I could do your nails sometime.”

A Casual Comment That Changed Everything

Some backstory. I love manicures. I own many nail polishes; we think about 1000, but no one is counting. I have a room dedicated to my “nail salon,” and I do my nails about twice a week. (The image shows just a part of my collection).

I looked up, ready to laugh, because this is a man who can smoke a brisket or fix a snow blower but has never in his life held a bottle of nail polish. In fact, he often complains about the smell, but he wasn’t joking. His face had an earnest softness. I realized he was trying to step into my world, because he knows it matters to me.

“You want to do my nails?” I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. He nodded. He had the tiniest playful smile. This man…

Planning the Big “First Manicure”

Once I realized he was serious, the idea didn’t feel so far-fetched. I said I was going to want to change my polish and do a new manicure in a few days. We set a date for the following Saturday.

Wanting to set him up for success, I knew the right table arrangement mattered (he would be sitting across from me, which was not my typical setup), as did choosing a polish with a good brush. Those in-the-know are aware that not all brushes are created equal. It’s like any tool; a great tool will help you accomplish your task more easily and give you better results.

Friday night I gave it a good thinking. At first, I thought about how bold colors, like reds, are not the easiest to apply, because if they flood (touch) the cuticle area, they can make a mess. Even so, I chose A-England Yeoman Warder, which is a warm red, for a few reasons. First, their formulas are buttery and easy to apply; secondly, they have a great brush; and thirdly, he was about to learn many things about my manicures, such as how I like to rotate colors and finishes on my nails from one mani to the next to keep it interesting. I was going to take off a fuchsia magnetic polish (Moth & Moon Mira), so going to a warm red with delicate scattered holographic sparkle made perfect sense in my nail polish brain.

Friday night he said to me, “So, what do we talk about during the manicure? Boyfriends? Husbands? Isn’t that what you talk about?” I laughed. He was only half-serious, but truth be told, it is often hard to tell when my husband is joking.

Setting the Table (Literally)

Saturday morning came and I set up a table where we could sit opposite one another. I covered it with paper towels. I assembled what we needed: Nailtiques 2 Plus, Orly Bonder (my sticky basecoat of choice), the A-England polish, and my favorite topcoat, Glisten & Glow. An acetone remover in dispenser, cotton pads, and an orange stick and brush were nearby for clean-up.

He asked, “Do I soak your nails first?” I explained that I always took my polish off the night before and prepped my nails in the tub, as I bathed. I explained that I had applied cuticle remover and pushed my cuticles back and this way, in the morning, which is always when I do my manicures, my nails are ready. “Oh,” he said, sounding somewhat disappointed. “My only knowledge is from the old Palmolive commercials with Madge, and I thought we were going to soak you in Palmolive,” which happens to be my dish washing soap of choice. I suppose I could have set up a little bowl for us to recreate the commercials, but I was so excited about getting to the polishing.

We sat down at the table. “OK,” he said, “should we have names? I guess I’m Madge.” I was cracking up. I couldn’t come up with anything. For some reason he said I had to be “Mrs.” something. This tangent kind of petered out.

A Crash Course in Nail Polish Chemistry

A little tutorial came next, first just spoken, and then with a short demo. I explained how the Nailtiques 2 Plus was a treatment and that I always had it on my nails. “This is always the first coat of anything on my nails,” I explained. “It has helped me grow healthy nails.”

Then came the details about a sticky basecoat (helps polish adhere and helps manicure longevity), about “1-coaters,” and how everyone has their favorite topcoat (which also helps with the wear and tear of a manicure).

I continued: “One-coaters are polishes that look good after just one coat, but even then, most of us add a second coat anyway. Two coats are the norm, but some polishes, like sheer sparkly or holographic polishes, really come into their own at three coats. Most of us have no patience for anything that requires four coats.” He was really listening, and I was actually a bit surprised that it appeared to be making sense to him.

“If something needs four coats, it gets traded away.” He knew what this meant. Every now and then, a package arrives with about 100 nail polishes in it. Yes, you read that right. It is what me and my nail friends call a “Round Robin.” We take turns organizing it and creating a spreadsheet with names of polishes, who donated them to the box, and the price of the polish. Then the box gets mailed around, person-to-person, and the idea is that you can take as many polishes out of the box that you want as long as you replace them with a like number of polishes or the approximate value of the polishes that you took. One person’s discard is another person’s treasure!

He also learned how brands have different formulas. “There are brands that promote themselves as 5-free,” I explained. “That means the polish is free of formaldehyde (formalin), formaldehyde resin, camphor, toluene, and dibutyl phthalate. That’s important to some people. That is not really something I pay much attention to. I have brands with all kinds of formulations.”

I went on to explain how some companies are known for their topcoat or their basecoat. “I don’t know of one person who uses the basecoat, color, and topcoat from one single brand all the time. We all test-drive different combinations and find out what works best for us. Every now and then you find a basecoat from one brand that doesn’t work well with a color from another brand, or a topcoat from one brand that doesn’t work well with the color of another brand.” He didn’t seem bored by any of this.

“It makes sense, right?” I asked. “They are chemical formulations, after all.”

“Like OPI,” he asked?

“Yes,” I laughed, “but we aren’t using OPI today.”

“That’s the only one I know,” he added.

The Moment of Truth

Now came the demo. I told to him that I was going to apply the Nailtiques and the Orly, and demonstrated for him how to shake the bottles. He was intrigued that the A-England bottle had a little ball bearing in it to help even mixing. “Do all brands have that,” he asked? Nope.

Showing him how to gauge polish on the brush, how to apply it to the nail, how to angle the brush just right — all of that took a bit of time. There was the part about holding my hand in ways that made it easier for him, the first swipe that starts a little short of the cuticle, the gentle push forward, and the pull toward him. We talked about “capping/wrapping” the nail tip for longevity and about avoiding the cuticle.

“Don’t worry though,” I explained, “it isn’t easy and we can clean-up later. We want to leave a little border free of polish, but it is kind of hard…” At that point, even I didn’t know what we were about to end up with.

It was time.

All of this was adorable. And ridiculous. And oddly moving.

More Than a Manicure

When he finally took my hand in his, something in me went very still. There was something tender about it. The kind of tenderness that sneaks up on you after years together, when you think you already know all the shapes love can take. (For the record, we are going on year 12).

His hands were shaking, and he said something about maybe not being able to do this. “Go for it!” I egged him on.

He went in and the first nail flooded the cuticle a bit. I reminded him that we could clean it up later on. “Keep going,” I said.

His application got better; he exhaled like he had been holding his breath for an hour. He applied the second coat. I showed him how to “float” the topcoat over the color, and we finished up.

“Now what?” he asked. “We wait,” I said. “Now everything has to dry.” I had explained that some folks clean-up as they go, but that I liked to wait and clean-up any messes later with a cotton wrapped orange stick (which is a slender wooden stick, made for nail care).

The Part That Really Matters

But here’s the thing: I didn’t care what it looked like. I didn’t care if it was streaky or uneven, or if I ended up looking like I had let a toddler loose with a bottle of red. What mattered was that he tried. What mattered was that he wanted to do something for me that had absolutely nothing to do with practicality or efficiency. Something purely for the sake of making me feel cared for.

At one point, he paused and looked at me — really looked — and said, “I know you love this stuff. I wanted to try.”

And my heart did that soft melt that only he can pull out of me.

When he finished, he held my hand up in the light like a jeweler assessing his work. It wasn’t perfect, but it was ours. A little wobbly, a little uneven, undeniably full of love.

And later, when the polish had finally dried, he touched my hand again and said, “I’ll get better.”

There was so much wrapped up in that one sentence — the effort, the desire to make me happy, the willingness to learn something new simply because it’s part of who I am.

If I ever forget what tenderness looks like, I only need to remember the day my husband painted my nails. Perfectly enough to remind me that love shows up in the smallest gestures, with the biggest heart.

When do I get to do magnetics,” he asked excitedly?

“Those are a bit complex,” I explained, but who knows? Those might be coming up soon.

I am looking at my cleaned-up manicure right now. It is spectacular.