11 parenting struggles every mom faces
Behind the glossy images of motherhood lies a far more complex reality of struggle, change, and resilience.
The journey of motherhood is often portrayed as a serene, fulfilling experience, full of gentle smiles and picture-perfect moments. We see it on social media, we read it in stories, and we feel a pressure to live up to that ideal. But every mom knows the quiet, messy truth that exists behind the scenes.
Motherhood is an immense shift in lifestyle, one that changes you from the ground up. It’s a constant dance between who you were and who you’ve become, and it’s okay to admit that sometimes, it’s a difficult dance. From the moment the sun rises until you finally get to rest, a mom’s health and well-being are in a constant state of flux, and it’s about time we spoke honestly about these struggles.
Dealing with Tantrums
It’s a rite of passage for all moms: the tantrum. Your child is screaming at the top of their lungs because you wouldn’t give them a toy, or you are at the store and your kid decides to start screaming for no reason, and you can feel the judgmental glares of every person in the store. The stress of these moments can feel overwhelming, and it can be hard to remember that you are a good parent.
The Never-Ending Mess
You can clean and organize all day long, but by the time you’ve finished, the children have already turned the living room into a disaster zone. It can feel like you’re trying to empty an ocean with a spoon. This constant battle with clutter can feel like an emotional burden and a sign that you are not doing enough.
The Endless To-Do List
There’s a reason they say a mom’s work is never done. You can wake up before the sun, plan out every single minute, and still feel like you’ve fallen behind before lunchtime. Data from the BLS shows that mothers, on average, spend more than double the time fathers do on household management and childcare, highlighting the disproportionate and often invisible “mental load” that makes motherhood feel like a full-time job.
Losing Yourself
It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself after becoming a mom. Your passions, hobbies, and personal time seem to take a backseat to your children’s needs. This is a common relationship problem, as you and your partner might forget to nurture your own connection. Reconnecting with the things that bring you joy can feel like a far-off travel destination that you can’t afford to take.
The Guilt Game
Mom guilt is a real form of emotional baggage that you are forced to carry. You feel guilty when you work, guilty when you don’t, guilty for not spending enough time with your kids, and guilty for wanting time away from them. Mom guilt is a very common experience for mothers, especially working mothers who juggle the demands of their careers and families. This feeling that you are always falling short is a common burden.
The Pressure to Be Perfect
The pressure to be a perfect mom is a never-ending cycle of unrealistic expectations. You feel like you have to have the ideal grocery haul, the perfect family car, and the perfect-looking children. We see inspiration from social media and magazines, and we try to create an ideal that doesn’t exist. As psychotherapist Sarah Ockwell-Smith says, “Perfectionism is an illness in parenthood.”
Financial Stress
Having children can be a massive strain on your finances and budget. The cost of diapers, food, clothes, and childcare can feel overwhelming. According to the data from the U.S.News, raising a child from birth to adulthood costs an average of over $281,000, and this figure does not account for the cost of college. Many moms feel a sense of failure because they can’t afford to give their kids everything they want.
The Feeling of Being Touched Out
It’s a strange sensation, but it’s very real. After a long day of hugs, hand-holding, and carrying your child, you get to a point where the last thing you want is for anyone to touch you. This can create tension in your relationships, as you feel a need for physical space from your partner and even your kids.
The Lack of Sleep
“Sleep when the baby sleeps” is a common piece of advice, but it’s not a guarantee. Between night feedings, nightmares, and late-night sicknesses, a mother’s sleep schedule is always a mess. This lack of sleep is not just an inconvenience; it can seriously impact a person’s mental and physical health.
Feeding Picky Eaters
Making food for picky eaters can feel like a special kind of torture. You try a new recipe you found on Pinterest, only for your child to refuse it and ask for chicken nuggets. This constant battle at mealtime can feel incredibly defeating and adds a layer of stress to the whole day.
The Social Isolation
It can feel like your friends without kids don’t understand your new life, and your friends with kids are too busy to hang out. You find yourself feeling lonely even when people surround you. This is a common and well-documented struggle; a survey by The Social Creatures found that 65% of parents reported being lonely, a significantly higher rate than the 55% of non-parents.
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