Woman claims men who can’t drop $100 on the first date need to stay home. 12 things wrong (and maybe right)

So there is this woman online saying, “If a man cannot spend $100 on date one, he should stay home.” The thing is, in 2026, a hundred bucks on a date isn’t even that shocking anymore in many American cities. 

BMO’s Real Financial Progress Index shows the average American date, once you count grooming, transport, and the actual outing, now costs about $189, up from $168 just a year earlier. Over the past 12 months, people have spent roughly $2,300 on dates, and nearly half of single Americans say dating no longer feels financially worth it anymore. 

Between rising menu prices, rideshares, and “I cannot show up in that old shirt again,” money melts fast. Love is getting more expensive, but we keep trying to use price tags to measure things money has never been good at measuring.

Is $100 Really That Wild Anymore?

First off, $100 is not some fantasy number in a lot of American cities. Self Financial and Global Dating Insights say the average date is already around $58.84, with men closer to $67.87, about 20 percent more than women.

BMO comes in and says the “all in” cost of a date, from the Uber to the edge line up, is about $168, and the typical American is dropping $2,279 a year on dating. Gen Z is spending around $194 per romantic night out, outpacing Millennials like it is a sport. So a hundred is high, but not sci‑fi; it is more like the cover charge for living in 2026.

But Most People Are Not Living On Miami TikTok

Here is the thing, though. Not everyone is on a rooftop in Miami with a ring light. The same BMO research shows Boomers spend about $127 per date, which is less, and many single people are actually cutting back instead of going bigger.

Self’s 2024 survey of over 1,000 Americans still puts the typical date at that $58.84 mark and says almost three-quarters of people are choosing cheaper dates because their wallets are tired. If you go out once or twice a month, you spend about $57 each time, but if you go on three or four dates, it climbs to about $70.  

If every first date has to be a $100 performance, you effectively bench half the country before the talking stage.

Inflation Turned “Drinks And Dinner” Into A Small Luxury

Part of the problem is that the food got more expensive faster than the romance got better. Food & Wine reports that restaurant prices rose around 4.1 percent in 2025 and have been rising for five straight years, faster than grocery prices.

Barmetrix shows full-service restaurant menus up about 4 to 5 percent year over year by late 2025, so yesterday’s $60 date quietly becomes today’s $80 or $100. 

Business Insider notes that a $12 cocktail in 2019 is roughly $14.50 in 2024 dollars, which means two drinks each plus tax and tip already chew through most of that hundred. By the time food arrives, the bill is not romantic; it is economic policy.

Most Americans Are Actually Stressed Out By Dating Costs

Behind the jokes, a lot of people are worried about money. About 68 to 69 percent of Americans feel stressed about how much dating costs, and almost three-quarters say they are choosing cheaper date ideas on purpose now.

More than 20% of people in a 2024 study asked for a refund or some money back after a bad first date, which may sound funny, but shows how real the frustration is.

People who go on three or four dates a month spend about $69.68 per date, which can add up to hundreds of dollars each month just to keep trying.

Who “Should” Pay Is Still Very Gendered

And then we crash into the old script. NerdWallet’s 2024 survey found that 72 percent of Americans think the man should pay on the first date in a straight couple, and men agree with this even more than women do. 

The same survey says 65 percent of people think whoever asks for the date should pay, which sounds fair until you remember men are still pushed to do most of the asking. Another 57 percent say the person who earns more should pay more often, which makes judging a guy by one $100 moment kind of unfair if you do not know his paycheck. 

You cannot claim equality and still treat his card like a masculinity report card.

Men Are Paying Long Before They Even Meet You

By the time he orders appetizers, he might already be financially tired. Pew’s research shows that about one-third of online daters have paid for apps or premium features, with 41 percent of men and 29 percent of women paying just to get matches. 

Older and higher-income users are more likely to pay for those boosts, so for some men, that $100 dinner sits on top of subscription costs and grooming just to feel presentable. BMO’s 2025 survey says Americans are spending over $2,200 per year on dates to “find love or keep the spark alive,” and much of that is invisible spending, like gas, outfits, and time. 

So when a guy hesitates at that three-figure first night, he might not be stingy; he might just already be three figures deep into the search.

Viral $100 Plus Standards Are Their Own Content Genre

Social media loves a hot take, and this topic is perfect fuel. Sites like JOE and Tyla have covered TikTok clips where women say men should spend $150 to $200 on a first date “for my presence,” delivered with a straight face that keeps the comment section busy all night. 

UNILAD shared another viral video where a woman suggested a “first date deposit” to pay her if the man cancels, turning dating into something that sounds more like booking a hotel room. These extreme views go viral because they are shocking and messy, not because they represent what most people actually expect. 

But if you are young and your feed is full of this, it is easy to think this is normal, when really it is just content designed to keep you watching.

Dating Coaches And Therapists Are Split Too

When you listen to experts instead of internet drama, the story is more balanced. In 2024, CNBC spoke with dating coaches and financial experts who said it can be fine for men to pay for the first date, but only if the plan matches what they can truly afford, not what social media tells them to spend. 

Therapists pointed out that using a strict dollar amount as a test can make dates feel like auditions for a certain lifestyle, which raises anxiety for everyone and makes it harder to be honest. 

Many professionals encourage cheaper first meetings like coffee, walks, or casual drinks so people can focus on safety and real compatibility instead of debating if someone is worth a three-figure dinner. 

Big Spender Men Are Not Automatically Better Partners

The big spender is not always the good partner. BMO’s index found that 44 percent of single Americans believe their net worth affects their dating chances, yet nearly everyone still rated financial responsibility as attractive. 

64 percent of people think spending more on a date leads to a more successful relationship, even though there is no clear proof that higher bills mean longer love. 

Business Insider has quoted coaches who say some big spenders use pricey dates to “fast-track intimacy,” which can be a form of love-bombing rather than generosity. A man who can handle smaller bills consistently might be safer than someone who throws cash on night one and vanishes by week two.

For Many Men, $100 Is Literally Rent Money

For a lot of men, $100 is not just “fun money,” it is survival money. Reporting on dating and money shows that younger adults, especially Gen Z, often have less spare cash than older adults but still spend over $2,600 a year on dates while trying to cover rent and debt. 

At the same time, restaurant prices have been rising around 3 to 4 percent a year, and menu prices are jumping faster than many wages, while full-service restaurants survive on thin profit margins of around 2.8 percent. 

That means everyone in the chain is squeezed: the diners, the staff, and the would‑be boyfriend. Saying “if he cannot drop $100, he should stay home” can quietly push out teachers, delivery drivers, students, and others who might be great partners but do not have extra cash.

Women Feel The Financial Burn Too, Just Differently

Now, it is not like women are floating through this for free. NerdWallet’s 2024 survey found women were more likely than men to say they were spending $0 on Valentine’s Day plans, 47 percent versus 35 percent, which reflects old ideas about men paying but also the way women contribute in non-monetary ways. 

UNILAD has covered TikTok trends where women add up the cost of their makeup and skin care routines and hit more than 200 pounds in products, using that to argue men should at least handle dinner. Surveys of straight university students, reported by 1News, found that men pay for women on the first date about 85 percent of the time, but many students think costs should be more shared once a relationship is established. 

So women might not always be paying the restaurant directly, but they are paying in time, effort, and products long before the date starts.

The Real Green Flag Is Matching Money Values, Not Meeting A Number

So, where do we land on that “$100 or stay home” rule? A 2024 NerdWallet poll found 57 percent of Americans think the higher earner should pay more often, and 65 percent believe whoever asks for the date should pay, which points to talking and agreeing, not hard rules. 

Pew’s work on online dating shows people who pay for apps often feel they have better experiences, but only about 35 percent of users have ever paid, meaning people invest in love in very different ways. A better test than “did he spend $100” is “does this person respect my budget, talk honestly about money and show steady generosity over time, even if our first date is just coffee.” 

In 2026, the price of everything is going up, but kindness, honesty, and shared values are still the things you cannot buy on any menu.

Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. It is not intended to be professional advice.

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